Open Post: Hosted By The UK Grocery Store Selling Sacks Of Wet Eggs
According to The Takeout, a chain of grocery stores in the UK is selling giant bags of eggs, floating in their own disgusting puddle of water and yolk juice––that’s right, somebody high-up at this grocery store called their staff together and, with a completely straight face, said to them: put a bunch of sloppy boiled eggs into a giant sack, fill it with water and watch as they fly off of the shelves. Even if I could comprehend the act of saving some time in the morning by purchasing pre-cooked eggs, I think my gag-reflex would probably have a few things to say.
A shopper who obviously has fine, discernible taste was strolling through their local Morrison’s (the fourth largest chain of supermarkets in the UK) last week and came upon an abomination in the form of wet, hard-boiled eggs in a big blue sack. Once they realized that their eyes weren’t playing tricks on them, they hoisted the sloppy bag in the air, took a photo, and threw it up on their Twitter account. And then, the Twitter-sphere proceeded to do some throwing up of their own.
My local Morrison’s is selling actual sacks of wet eggs. This is the most wretched and cursed item I have ever witnessed pic.twitter.com/bghKxOUxXu
— Strumpet (Sexy Trumpet) (@TrumpetSexy) September 16, 2020
SEVEN SWANS A SWIMMING
SIX GEESE A LAYING pic.twitter.com/crrDKLVX9W
— andrew allen (@my_grayne) September 16, 2020
The post has already received over 130,000 likes and has launched a tidal wave of questions as to who in their right fucking mind would buy such a thing. The Metro UK even did a little digging of their own as to whether such a bag of tricks is even safe? And someone, assumedly from Morrison’s head office, got back to them with a sweet response:
“These boiled eggs are prepared for our salad bar. Sometimes, rather than wasting them, we offer them to customers directly. As for the water they’re in, this is just the normal (often salted) water that the eggs are kept in once they’re peeled to stop them from shrivelling up.”
So, the next time you’re in a Morrison’s don’t forget to pick up the essentials: milk, bread, and wet eggs. And if any nearby brunch restaurant is purchasing ingredients at Morrison’s, they should be legally obliged to have their waitstaff make mention of it to customers. “How would you like your eggs, guvnah? Scrambled, sunny-side up, or freshly dropped onto a plate out of the sack?”
Pic: Twitter