Hot Slut Of The Day!
Pop-Tarts Crunch Cereal!
Pop-Tarts Cereal exists today, but it’s not Pop-Tarts CRUNCH Cereal, which Kellogg’s farted out in the 1990s. In 1994, Kellogg’s probably figured that people were getting bored of getting their highly nutritious breakfast of nothing but a buttered regular Pop-Tart, so they put out Diabetes in a bowl in the form of Pop-Tarts Crunch Cereal!
Pop-Tarts Crunch Cereal came in two flavors: strawberry and brown sugar cinnamon. It was made up of Pop-Tart pieces that were Honey, I Shrunk-ified. So you could have a regular Pop-Tart for a breakfast appetizer and Pop-Tarts cereal for your main breakfast entree, and then all your teeth would fall out as your veins exploded from your blood sugar level getting higher than me while trying to get through Ratched.
Mr. Breakfast says that the description on Pop-Tart Crunch’s box went like this:
“Two ways to enjoy the goodness of new Kellogg’s Pop-Tarts Crunch Cereal: Now you can enjoy the goodness of Kellogg’s Pop-Tarts in a cereal. New Kellogg’s Pop-Tarts Crunch Cereal. You don’t have to toast these, you just pour on milk and enjoy their wholesome grain goodness. Choose from delicious brown sugar cinnamon or delightful frosted strawberry. Try both kinds of New Kellogg’s Pop-Tarts Crunch Cereal. They’re a whole new way to enjoy the goodness of Pop-Tarts toaster pastries.”
And here’s the Pop-Tarts Crunch commercial featuring a girl who thought she dreamed up the perfection of Pop-Tarts Crunch cereal and nearly killed her dog while trying to fly to make sure she wasn’t dreaming:
So I guess now we know that the not-so-secret ingredient in Pop-Tarts Crunch cereal was LSD.
Pic: Kellogg’s