Lori Loughlin Will Serve Her Sentence At A Prison That Offers Pilates, Yoga, And Origami Classes

September 18, 2020 / Posted by:

Welp, Lori Loughlin, and Mossimo Giannulli are about to make Felicity Huffman‘s 11 days in prison look like Guantanamo. Page Six claims that the prisons that Lori and Mossimo will serve their sentences at are pretty “cushy.” This isn’t some 60 Days In shit! I mean, they teach pilates there, but I’m sure Lori will scream, “NO SOULCYCLE STUDIO?! Ugh, just send me to Death Row while you’re at it!

Lori and Mossimo finally took a plea deal and pleaded guilty to paying $500,000 to scam their daughters’ way into USC. Both agreed to time in prison. Lori will serve 2 months and Mossimo 5. They also have to pay a total of $400,000 in fines and Lori has to do 100 hours of community service and Mossimo has to do 250 hours. Both will be on probation for two years after they get out of the clink.

They must turn themselves in on November 19. Lori asked to serve her sentence at the medium-security Federal Correctional Institution in Victorville, CA and the Bureau of Prisons approved her request. Mossimo will serve his sentence at the low-security Federal Correctional Institution in Lompoc CA. Both prisons are within two hours of their mansion. Page Six says that Lori will be kept in the “Satellite Camp” part of the prison and it sounds like rich lady summer camp:

The camp offers yoga, pilates and origami, as well as music lessons, including classes in saxophone, accordion, or ukulele, according to the facilities’ inmate handbook.

Cartoon drawing, crochet, leather craft and ceramics are also on offer.

Origami! And if Lori wants to pick up new life skills since her acting career is in the shit can, she can learn to drive a forklift, repair bicycles, and become a dental assistant. Mossimo’s prison also offers a bunch of classes, but no pilates!

Lompoc also encourages arts and crafts, including oil painting, leatherwork, crocheting and ceramics. He’d be able to join in “table games” and “music programs,” the handbook advises. Just like back home at the mansion, there’s an on-site gym. Giannulli will have the chance to learn typing, computer literacy or a foreign language. He could even take parenting classes.

Mossimo certainly needs the parenting classes. Lori too.

That prison consultant Lori hired sure is looking like a waste of money now, huh? Gwyneth Paltrow would’ve had better tips for this “jail” situation. If Goop is smart, they’ll learn about Lori’s haute-couture prison and think about opening a pop-up shop. “Come use your commissary-dollars at the Goop prison pop-up but hurry because those orgasm-scented candles are going to sell out fast!”

Pic: Wenn.com

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