BREAKING NEWS: Kendall Jenner Bravely Came Out As A Stoner

September 15, 2020 / Posted by:

In a previous episode of Kate and Oliver Hudson’s podcast, Sibling Revelry, they talked about the time they hosted a house party and Tom Cruise gatecrashed. Well, this time these rich and connected people are squeezing some “juicy” (not really) details out of the Kardashian/Jenners. They spoke with 41-year-old Kourtney Kardashian and 24-year-old Kendall Jenner about the Koven and learned that Kendall Jenner is a stoner. Oh my god! So brave! This is like when she came out as having had acne at some point! Someone get her a Medal of Honor!

This episode was taped back in January, so I guess they were holding onto this hot-exciting “secret” about Kendall until after they could use it to promo their Keeping Up One Last Year Of Undeserved Decadence And Social Decay With The Kardashians final season. Kylie Jenner–who buys $3 million orange cars–was called the most “laidback” of the sisters. Which makes me quiver in fear over the level of maintenance these other tricks require. Then Oliver asked the sisters who would be the stoner in the family, and Kourtney said, “Kendall.” So Kendall fessed up about her weed-smoking ways:

“I am a stoner. No one knows that, so that’s the first time I’ve ever really said anything out there.”

Wow, how brave. Of course, the Internet roasted her because who the shit cares that a rich person smokes weed? Like imagine a housewife was like: “I admit, I love chardonnay–no one knows that.” Bitch, we all assume!

We can roast Kendall all we want, but at least this gives her an excuse for that Pepsi ad. Clearly she was high when she agreed to give that cop a Pepsi and solve police brutality. Also, why did she spend $750,000 on a pink orb? Stoned! And her shit runway walk? Stoned! Kendall Jenner makes sense now. She’s not a bad model, she’s just lit! (She’s still a bad model.)

Pic: Wenn.com

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