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September 13, 2020 / Posted by:

The Old Lady Python Who Birthed Out Babies Without The Help Of A Man!

Hilaria Baldwin, bow down to your queen, who got pregnant without having to bareback fuck Alec Baldwin, or any dude for that matter. The unnamed snake (let’s call her Missssss Independent) surprised the snake handlers at the St. Louis Zoo when she laid seven eggs because according to them, it’s been at least twenty years since she got herself some hemipenes. Me too, old ass snake, me too.

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch says that the 62-year-old ball python, who goes by the number 361003, has lived at the St. Louis Zoo since 1961 after a private owner donated her. She’s never on display to the public, and lives inside the zoo’s herpetarium, along with a 31-year-old ball python who’s a dude. As far as the zoo knows, Missssss Independent isn’t a cougar snake who fucked on a youngin’. But somehow on July 23, she hatched seven eggs. It’s rare, but not unheard of, for a ball python to make babies without mating. The zoo is going to test two of the eggs to get to the bottom of how she made them.

“She’d definitely be the oldest snake we know of in history,” to lay eggs, said Mark Wanner, a zoological manager of herpetology at the zoo. In fact, she’s the oldest snake ever documented in a zoo.

Three of the eggs remain in an incubator, in a different area of the Charles H. Hoessle Herpetarium from the snake. Two of the eggs were culled for genetic sampling, and snakes inside two other eggs did not survive.

The genetic sampling will show whether they were reproduced sexually or asexually, called facultative parthenogenesis. The snakes are also known to store sperm for delayed fertilization.

Missssss Independent has laid eggs twice before: once in 2009 (but the eggs didn’t survive) and in 1990 when she fucked on a python in bucket. At that time, caretakers didn’t separate the snakes when cleaning their cages.

If her eggs survive, they’ll hatch in about a month. So I guess we’ll soon know if she had an immaculate conception or not. And if out of those eggs hatches half garter snake/half python babies, we’ll know she snuck in her garter snake trick for some raw dog fun. Book her appearance on Maury now!

Pic: Twitter

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