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September 9, 2020 / Posted by:

She-Ra’s Crystal Castle Playset!

Thirty-five years ago today, the epitome of glamour, power, and luxurious fantasy rattled awake the gay gene of many when She-Ra made its television debut. The first-ever She-Ra episode aired on September 9, 1985, and so to celebrate this international holiday (that I’m sure your job gave you the day off for since this is a more important holiday than the birth of Jesus), let’s pay tribute to the pinnacle of fantastical opulence that was She-Ra’s Crystal Castle playset.

In the same year that She-Ra debuted and became the highest-rated show of all-time (Don’t fact check me on that!), Mattel started selling the Princess of Power toyline that was made up of She-Ra dolls and a playset of She-Ra’s little Etheria crash pad: Crystal Castle. Crystal Castle, which sounds like the name a gay bar that is a not-so-subtle front for a meth ring, was such a work of tasteful architectural art that I’m sure Liberace was making plans up until his death to build a life-sized replica of it. When it was closed, the playset looked like something straight out of Million Dollar Listing: Etheria:

The inside of the Crystal Castle playset was slathered in luxury from a priceless purple chandelier made out of plastic to an extremely gorgeous twin canopy bed that probably could’ve doubled as a butter boat to a highly-technologically advanced throne that was also an elevator:

This commercial from 1985 shows the mind-blowing throne elevator in action:

My mom got me a few She-Ra dolls when I was a kid but never the Crystal Castle because she wasn’t a multi-millionaire. There are many used ones on eBay now and they go for over $200, which honestly is the steal of a century. I mean, the $14.7 million compound that Prince Hot Ginge lives in is a busted-down dump compared to this flawless gem.

Pics: Pinterest, He-Man.orgWorthPoint

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