As Robert Pattinson, The Rock, Tiffany Haddish, and other famous types catch coronavirus, David and Victoria Beckham are probably looking at them, “Pfft, coronavirus is so last season, darlings!” Because according to The Grain of Salt Times known as The Sun, Posh and Becks caught coronavirus in the Tom Hanks days of the pandemic (read: aaaaaaalll the way back in the olden days of March 2020). They kept it on the down-low, but because they were flying around and going to parties before they got the diagnosis, they were afraid they were “super spreaders.” Oh, to think, in simpler times, the words “David Beckham” and “super spreader” would make every personal assistant, teacher, and Welsh singer run to the clinic to get her fuck parts checked.
The source says that on March 1, Becks’ soccer team Inter Miami played its first away game at Los Angeles FC. Becks was there along with his entire family as well as Brooklyn Beckham’s housekeeper-destroying demon fiancee Nicola Peltz. Posh and Becks apparently went to a few events to promote Inter Miami and they cheek-kissed and shook hands with a lot of people at those events. From there, they flew back to England to celebrate Brookyn’s 21st birthday at their mansion in Cotswolds. And after that, they took a quick trip to Miami. When they got back from Miami, they started having symptoms and eventually tested positive for coronavirus. Several of their staff members also got the corona sicks.
The source claims that Posh lost it harder than when Scary Spice’s name comes up on her caller ID because she was afraid she spiced up everyone’s life, and not in a good way, by giving them COVID-19.
“Victoria really panicked and made the whole family quarantine rigidly for more than two weeks. She was utterly petrified they might be super-spreaders, and did all she could to minimise all future risk. Not only was she poorly in bed, she was also completely panicked. It was a rough few weeks.”
Poorly in bed?! What does the hump skills of Posh Spice have to do with this?! Rebecca Loos must be the source.
Posh and Becks have since recovered and spent the summer at their country estate. The source also claims that they sent “care packages” to staff members who caught corona. They also canceled their son Romeo’s birthday party, and got antibody tests before going off to Greece and Italy for vacation. The source also said that Posh, who got shit for allegedly paying her employees with government relief funds, and Becks wanted to make up for not going into lockdown earlier in the pandemic:
“David and Victoria have done their utmost during the pandemic to help others, and make up for traveling so early into the crisis.”
Posh and Becks haven’t said anything about this, and it’s been business as usual on her Instagram page where she modeled one of her brand’s looks for the new season:
A new study claims that it’s possible to catch COVID-19 twice, so Posh should keep that outfit on at all times. Because as Miss Rona sashays into Posh for a second round, it’ll stop, and look that outfit up and down before saying, “What in librarian Barney during a flood HELL are you wearing?“, before sashaying away.