An Influencer Cried About Getting Quarantined In Rwanda After Testing Positive For COVID-19
TikTok influencer Charly Jordan recently documented an incredibly harrowing experience of testing positive for COVID-19 while vacationing in Rwanda wherein she was forced to spend 4 days in a 3-star hotel room. She was deprived of food (she liked), separated from her fellow TikTokers, and worst of all, she was left with only her own deep thoughts for company. Charly used the time to evaluate her life choices, from the spelling of her name to how her dogged reliance on external validation has contributed to society’s decline into performative living and a general decrease in self-esteem and individualism as well as her own mental health. Haha, got you, this dingus got on Tik Tok and cried a million albino crocodile tears about how unfairly she was treated.
According to Vulture, Charly jetted off to Rwanda (which is one of only 30 countries in the world accepting American tourists, with restrictions) to help gorillas by taking a selfie in front of them but her trip was cut short when she tested positive for COVID-19, despite claiming she already had COVID several months ago. That’s when “literally the fucking government showed up” and told her to quarantine. Imagine, literally the fucking government taking steps to slow the spread of a deadly global virus. The nerve!
Jordan posted to her 3.3 million Instagram followers on September 2, writing that she “Made it to Rwanda” and that she’s “definitely corona free haha 😂 100 temperature checks later. Crazy where the world is right now.”
But after dancing in front of a safari Jeep and reciting a poem she wrote on the flight over, Jordan posted a tearful video to her 1.8 million TikTok followers in which she revealed that after her gorilla trek she “tested positive and literally the fucking government showed up at my place, and came and dragged me away from everybody I was with, and I don’t speak the language, and they locked me in this fucking room. And I can’t leave.” In the video, Jordan says, “I don’t know how long I’m going to be here, and they won’t tell me anything.” She also said that she already had coronavirus three months earlier and had tested negative since.
Yes, English is one of Rwanda’s four official languages that Charly can’t speak. Here’s her explaining her predicament in her native tongue which sounds to me like AIV (American Influencer Vernacular).
Charly Jordan says that she uses medical marijuana to help her anxiety and depression. She does not have access to it and is locked in a room, and has not been given any updates about what is happening to her. pic.twitter.com/v2FDLs1BA4
— Def Noodles (@defnoodles) September 6, 2020
I’m particularly confused about the marijuana withdrawals. Wouldn’t this have happened regardless of her being quarantined? Did this dizzy broad plan on buying marijuana there where it’s currently illegal? Were her friends carrying? Has the TikTok generation never seen Brokedown Palace! If ever there was a time for a remake featuring spoiled influencers, it’s now.
At any rate, Charly managed to choke down enough food to stay alive the entire 4-days of being waited on hand and foot by the Rwandan staff at her quarantine location and was ultimately released back into the wild after finally testing negative (the original test was apparently a false positive). Here’s Charly explaining her ordeal. I don’t know, she looks fucking sick to me. What’s wrong with her eyes and are those wings? This girl needs an exorcism if you ask me.
Charly Jordan posted this TikTok when she found out tested negative for COVID. pic.twitter.com/SkhfUwFVHQ
— Def Noodles (@defnoodles) September 7, 2020
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you an ACTOR! I mean yes, she’s a poetess first and foremost, but the shortlist for my remake of Brokedown Palace remake just got a whole lot shorter.
@charlyjordan A poem I wrote on my 30 hour flight ❤️ love is always the answer
Pic: Instagram