After Queen Elizabeth granted Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s request to terminate their employment as senior royals, Harry and Meghan hauled ass out of the UK, because they were done with the Royal Family. They moved to Canada for a bit, which wasn’t as private as they probably expected it to be. Then they moved to Meghan’s hometown of Los Angeles, into Tyler Perry’s private multi-million dollar gated community compound, which also ended up being not that private. Oh, and also Harry reportedly hated LA. So they decided to settle in the private famous person-friendly community of Montecito, California.
They reportedly chose Montecito because it was a quiet, private place for their son Archie to grow up as normally as possible, and also it’s private, and of course, there’s the privacy of it all. Except that Harry and Meghan forgot to consider the fact that photographers might have access to transportation, and would possibly follow them to their latest relocation. According to TMZ, that’s exactly what photographers did, and some residents of Montecito are pissed with the sudden influx of paparazzi.
Photographers are desperate to get the picture of Harry and Meghan in Montecito, which has turned the quiet rich people community into a messy media circus. The total population of Montecito is about nine to ten thousand people, so – it’s pretty small. Keep that in mind for this next part:
The scene on the ground is pretty hectic, especially for an affluent area that’s supposed to be an enclave for celebs looking to escape the limelight…choppers are zooming over Harry and Meghan’s hood, sometimes 4 times a day, and paps are staking out their home and a nearby shopping center.
The location of Harry and Meghan’s new home is known because home sales are often public knowledge. Also, that kind of information is fairly easy to obtain. Not only is Harry rich and famous, but he’s also important, genealogy-speaking. His granny is the Queen of England and his daddy will one day soon be King. So, he’s got plenty of security protecting him and his family from anyone holding a camera who might just so happen to have found themselves “accidentally” lost in his front yard. But it’s not just photographers either; tourists have reportedly started visiting, hoping to see the royal couple.
We’re told more visitors are showing up in town and asking local shop owners if they’ve seen Harry and Meghan. Montecito is famously known as a no-paparazzi zone – [celebrities] have no problem dining out and shopping in on the low – but everything’s changed since the Duke and Duchess of Sussex moved in.
Oh gosh, those poor, wealthy celebrities. Unable to pop out and get a damn ice cream cone without hearing a non-local from south of Mussel Shoals ask, “Have you seen the Sussexes yet?” Really makes your heart go out to them, you know? Which is the prison, inside or outside?!?
Sources tell TMZ that most locals want the paparazzi to leave, because their presence is starting to become unwanted, and it’s not like they’re getting any pictures anyway. And, locals also reportedly want it to end before it gets worse. TMZ points out that eventually Harry and Meghan will leave their house and head into town, and locals are afraid that it will just draw more paps hoping to make some money, like nabbing a shot of their whole family together.
There’s a pretty simple solution to all of this, and all Harry and Meghan have to do is revisit a little film from 1990 called Home Alone. Step one, buy a decoy house right next to a Kardashian (they’ll gladly welcome the increase in paparazzi presence), then leak the new address to the press. Step two, fill the house with cardboard cut-outs, and set up a mannequin in a red wig on an old record player to throw the paps off. The only downside is that their fake person house parties might start attracting other fake people in the area looking to party, and then their cover is blown.