Nicole Richie Just Dropped A Rap Album About The Environment Because Why Not?

August 29, 2020 / Posted by:

Unbeknownst to me, Nicole Richie not only has a sideline rap career, but she’s also got an entirely separate musical persona (like Garth Brooks and Chris Gaines, only…better?). I guess the name “Nicole Richie” has a lot of prestige behind it and she didn’t want to tarnish her reputation in case audiences failed to connect with her new musical venture. If you’re interested in hearing what Nicole Richie has to say about the environment, set to thumping trap beats, keep on, keep on.

Yesterday, Nicole dropped her nature-themed rap album, “Unearthed” on her unsuspecting followers. She made the announcement on BOTH her main Instagram page, and that of her alter ego, Nikki Fre$h. On the record, which she released independently, Nikki raps about topics like clean water, saving the bees, plastic, and food waste. A quick sample of her mad skills are evident in the track, “Bee’s Tea” where she spits the following:

A pesticide homicide and we’ll be soon to follow / cause if these bees are gone today then we’ll be gone tomorrow

But Nikki/Nicole should probably hold off on clearing space on the mantle for the Best Rap Album Grammy because reviews (by her friends and family, anyway) are mixed at best. In fact, many of the reviews are interpolated in the album’s tracks already. Multiple songs feature incorporated voicemails from loved ones expressing their concern about how shit the music sounds––people including dad Lionel Richie, Mila Kunis, and sister-in-law, Cameron Diaz.

However, according to the track “We Are a Garden”, Mother Nature’s answer to Megan Thee Stallion remains unbothered: 

Try to bury me alive / but I’m a seed, bitch

Kanye is shaking right now!!!

Nikki Fre$h is also the name of Nicole’s comedy series on Quibi, which yes, still exists for some reason. On that show, Nicole plays a messenger of environmental love through her new musical persona––Nikki, a trap singer who makes eco-conscious choices (they’re apparently not turning down ANY pitches over there).

But honestly, I am confused as to why Nicole thinks the planet still needs saving. I mean, her ex-partner in fame whore foolery, Paris Hilton, saved the planet YEARS AGO  with this tweet:

Even though Earth no longer needs saving thanks to Paris Hilton, Nikki Fre$h is saving the rap game with this:

Pic: Instagram

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