Open Post: Hosted By Kate Winslet And Saoirse Ronan As Lovers In The New Trailer For “Ammonite”

August 25, 2020 / Posted by:

That headline woulda been a helluva lot more interesting if it cut off after the word “lovers”. Alas, Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan’s forbidden, brooding lesbian romance is just for the movie Ammonite.

Apparently “ammonite” isn’t a synonym for “Oscar bait”. It’s actually the name of prehistoric sea animals that resembled squids in shells. The film was inspired by the life of 19th-century paleontologist Mary Anning and her relationship with geologist Charlotte Murchison. Mary discovered and sold fossils on the Southern English coastline. It’s said she inspired the tongue twister “she sells seashells by the sea shore.”

Here’s the trailer:

 

Ooo, the dark, sensual yearning, and bleak British colors. I’m sure the film will end with Saoirse leaving her husband for Kate, and the couple living as proud, open lesbians who make millions of pounds off their seashells. LOL, JK, it’ll turn out super depressingly, because gay people aren’t allowed happy endings in TV or film.

The film, which is set to premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival next month, is directed by Francis Lee, who made his acclaimed feature debut in 2017’s God’s Own Country. That movie also depicted a tortured gay love affair, and starred the guy who plays young Prince Charles in the last season of The Crown. ‘Twas hot.

Anyway, you know this shit is gonna be good because Kate dyed her hair dark brown and isn’t wearing any makeup. Hopefully, there will also be boobies. Oscar #2, please, and spank you!

Pic: YouTube

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