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August 25, 2020 / Posted by:

Lucky Charms’ Pouch Of Magical Marshmallows!

Lucky Charms first started making dentists everywhere scream KA-CHING at the sight of them in 1964 when General Mills first released their box of magically delicious goodness. And People tells me that since then, Lucky Charms has never ever made life easier for those of us who painstakingly pick out the best part (the marshmallows) by selling a pouch of just those sugary rainbow dingles of magic. But they are now, and just like a rainbow, it’s not going to last forever.

Throughout Lucky Charms’ lifetime, boxes of just the marshmallows have been given out in sweepstakes, but this is the first time people can buy them without having to enter some kind of contest. General Mills is doing it because we need some kind of damn relief in 2020, so they’re relieving us of the laborious and stressful task of pulling out the marshmallows and leaving some sucker nothing but a box of bland oat pieces. They’re also doing it to get some promo.

Businesswire says that earlier this month, Lucky Charms announced that the marshmallow charms of its leprechaun Sir Charm were slowly losing their magic so they asked famous types like Tamera Mowry to sing the Lucky Charms jingle to bring the magic back to the marshmallow charms. If only I could sing to my empty bong to bring back its “magic” (read: more weed). As a thank you for bringing the magic back to Sir Charm’s charms, they’re selling diabetes in a bag.

“Lucky Charms is the only magical marshmallow cereal and I’m so excited to see that families across the country helped bring the magic back,” said Mindy Murray, senior brand experience manager for Lucky Charms. “To thank our fans for helping us restore this magic, we’re celebrating the launch of the Just Magical Marshmallows with a spectacle that embodies the magic of Lucky Charms.”

Just Magical Marshmallows will cost around $3.99 each and will only be available for a limited time at select grocery stores around the country.

At first, I thought that this is also General Mills’ way to put a little sparkle of goodness on this corroded cold turd of a year, but then I read the words “limited time” and “select grocery stores.” Great, now we all have to search grocery store after grocery store for Just Magical Marshmallows and when we finally get our paws on a bag of those sugary crack nuggets, a non-mask wearing mess will probably grab it at the same time and we’ll have to tussle for it as Sir Charm cackles over the chaos he created. That’s magically diabolical!

Pic: Lucky Charms

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