Entertainment Tonight reports that Halle Berry is still legally wed to Olivier Martinez despite having originally filed for divorce in October of 2015. It’s been nothing but dropped balls ever since. Now, five years after they broke up, Halle’s apparently decided that if you want something done, you have to do it yourself. So like Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, and The Beltway Sniper before her, Halle’s filed a motion to represent herself in court. Angelina Jolie, take note! This is how you drag out a divorce.
According to ET:
Halle Berry wants to represent herself in her divorce case with her ex, Olivier Martinez. In court documents obtained by ET on Tuesday, the 54-year-old actress filed to represent herself instead of an attorney.
According to the documents, her former attorney, Marina Zakiyan Beck, signed off on the change on July 30. Berry signed off on Aug. 11. Meanwhile, 54-year-old Martinez is being represented by celebrity divorce attorney Laura Wasser.
Berry and Martinez filed for divorce in October 2015 after two years of marriage. They share one son together, 6-year-old Maceo. The two filed separately, citing irreconcilable differences and asking for joint custody of their son.
Given that Laura Wasser has been Olivier’s attorney from the beginning, I’m going to make like Catwoman and go out on a limb to guess the issues and delays are mostly coming from Halle’s side of things. Her initial 2015 filing was rejected because she channeled her inner Bond Girl and used aliases to throw the press off her scent. It didn’t work, obviously, and Laura had Olivier file separately using their real names instead of “Jinx Storm vs Fists-O-Fury McGee.” Halle refiled too but their case was further delayed because the couple failed to file the custody agreement they came to in 2016.
In December 2016, TMZ reported that the two finalized their divorce and that under the settlement, they share physical and legal custody of Maceo. However, in May 2018, the outlet reported that Berry got another notice to appear in court since they never filed their formal custody arrangement.
Per the court documents filed in 2016, Berry and Martinez can claim “single” status until other matters are worked out. But they were sanctioned in 2019 for missing a court hearing in their divorce case, which means not all issues in this divorce case have been resolved.
This means Halle and Olivier are stuck in the same divorce quagmire as Angelina and Brad Pitt in that they’re officially single, but still need to get their shit together for the sake of the kids. But I’m not going to lie, I’m thrilled at the thought of Halle representing herself in court by marching in wearing an impeccably tailored white businesswoman suit, tossing her leather briefcase onto the desk and, realizing she has no idea what she’s doing, desperately shouting “LINE?” at the judge.
Then again, this is her third divorce, maybe practice makes perfect. Halle was previously married to baseball player David Justice and singer Eric Benét. She also has a 12-year-old daughter with her ex-boyfriend, old speed bag face, Gabriel Aubry. Whatever happens though, in lord Jesus’ name, let’s hope this development doesn’t give Angie and brilliant ideas. We don’t need TWO thrice-married eccentric early-aughts screen sirens competing to see who can chew up the most scenery while representing themselves in their own divorce proceedings. Let’s just let Halle have this one.