Kelly Osbourne has revealed she lost a total of 85 pounds after getting gastric sleeve surgery almost two years ago. The Internet tells me 85 pounds is roughly the weight of a toilet, so kudos, Kelly, on shedding an entire toilet. Her mom, Sharon Osbourne, got gastric band surgery way back in ’99, but got the lap band removed several years later because she felt like she was “cheating”.
Kelly shared her story on Dax Holt and Adam Glyn’s Hollywood Raw podcast, telling them she doesn’t “give a fuck what anyone has to say.”
“I did it, I’m proud of it, they can suck s—. I did the gastric sleeve. All it does is change the shape of your stomach. I got that almost two years ago. I will never ever ever lie about it ever. It is the best thing I have ever done.”
Everything I know about weight loss surgery is what I learned from Carnie Wilson’s Oprah episode. So, uh, not a lot. Kelly explains the surgery requires a huge lifestyle change and still requires eating right and exercise to keep the weight off.
“I had to do a year of stand-alone therapy to prepare myself for the surgery before I even had it,” she continued. “What people don’t realize is, it cuts out this hormone that if you have addiction issues, it stops your craving and it makes you not emotionally eat, which is a huge problem for me. … All it is, is a push in the right direction. It doesn’t solve all your problems. It’s not a quick fix.”
Wait, it’s NOT a quick fix? Ew.
Kelly goes on to say she had to “get happy” and fix her head before she started work on her body. Her first step was to quit drinking, which she says is the best thing she’s ever done. Kelly’s struggled with addiction for years. In her 2017 memoir, she claimed she’d been sober for eight years. This past New Year she posted on Instagram that she’s been off booze for more than two years. So it’s been an ongoing struggle. Kelly says she’s made mistakes and she’s not perfect (hmmm, I can’t relate), but when she falls down she always gets back up again.
Kelly says that people only noticed she lost weight when she got an injection to help her TMJ (pain in her jaw). She said it made her face look thinner. But even though she’s a skinnier version of herself, Kelly vows to never forget who treated her like shit when she was bigger:
“My weight loss made me resentful at Hollywood. So fucking resentful,” she said. “Because when I was fat, I was invisible. They didn’t want to work with me, they didn’t want to do anything with me.”
Instead, Osbourne said, she’ll work with the people who appreciated her at every size.
“Now in retrospect, I know exactly who I’ll work with and who I won’t. Because I know who called me fat, I know who didn’t want to work with me. I know exactly who said it,” she said. “I’ve got really thick skin, but I take that, and I put it into my memory bank. I remember what you said about me, and that’s the best revenge.”
God, I love revenge. Yesterday I was shopping with my boyfriend, and a saleswoman mistook him for my son. MY. SON. Big mistake. HUGE. The rest of my life will now be dedicated to destroying Kathy from the Gap. Her family, her career, her son. And if, for whatever reason, vengeance requires me to quit drinking and get surgery, so be it.