Hot Slut Of The Day!
KUDOS!
August 19, 2020, is the day that I learned that Kudos, the candy bar in a granola bar’s clothing, no longer exists in this world. If it wasn’t for this whole “we’re in the middle of a deadly pandemic and needs to wear masks outside” shit, I’d go to the protein bar aisle at Target, and let out a slobbery scream at Kind, Lara, and think! bars for being responsible for the death of Kudos! Because Kudos is no longer around.
Kudos was a product of Mars. Inc. and made its debut in 1986. It came in flavors like nutty fudge, chocolate chip, and peanut butter. It was the “healthier” baby of a candy bar and a granola bar. It was basically a candy bar that put on a coat made of granola and was like, “Eat me, I’m healthy” (which strangely enough is in my Grindr profile). It was a breakfast-time candy bar and became a hit all through the rest of the 80s and the 90s. Here’s a Kudos commercial from back in the day (with a special appearance by Ishtar at the beginning) where they declared that it’s nutritious and it’s yours!
Kudos made it all through the 2000s too, but I guess in 2011, they decided to pull themselves away from the overcrowded protein and granola bar market by coming out with less healthy options (read: more delicious options). Mars, Inc. dropped some of their candy products into Kudos like Dove, M&M’s, and Snickers. But I guess that wasn’t enough because eventually Mars, Inc. got rid of Kudos. When a Kudos fan asked where Kudos went to in a Facebook post in 2017, Mars, Inc. confirmed that it was discontinued.
My mom never let us have a Kudos because she saw through that fraudulently healthy bitch. So it’s a shame that now that I’m grown enough to choose and buy my own breakfast time foods, I can’t have a Kudos since they don’t exist. Oh well, I’ll just eat a Snickers and a granola bar at the same time, and by that I mean just eat a Snickers.
Pic: Mars, Inc.