Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 19, 2020 / Posted by:

The Calamari Man from last night’s DNC Roll Call!

On night one of the virtual Democratic National Convention, Billy Porter’s green screen acid trip performance stole the show for me (and yes, his “gay preacher on molly” moves definitely hypnotized me into saying that). And last night, one of the breakout stars was the piping hot calamari master who made me say, “It’s nice to see that Bane left a life of crime for a life of CALAMARIS!”

During night two of the DNC, they gave us a traveling roll call where a mix of elected officials and regular people from 57 states and territories spoke out about the current state of the country as well as what their wishes are for moving forward. There were a few breakout stars of the DNC roll call, but then there was Rhode Island which declared itself the “calamari comeback state” as a beefy chef stood by, looking like he was ready to gently put down that plate of his state’s deep-fried treasure and whoop the ass of any motherfucker who dares talk shit about calamari.

Joseph M. McNamara, the chairman of RI’s Democratic Party, did all the talking and went on about how the state’s restaurant and fishing industry has been destroyed by the pandemic, but that their official state appetizer, calamari, is available to gobble down in all states. And as Joseph busted with pride over RI being the calamari comeback state, Calamari Man stood beside him like, “Bitch, you better agree with his ass!

The Washington Post says that Calamari Man is John Bordieri, the executive chef at Iggy’s, a group of three seafood restaurants in Rhode Island. While Calamari Man and his plate of squid jewels made an appearance at the DNC, he admitted that he thinks most politicians are lie-tellers and he’s not sure if he’s voting for Joe Biden. But what he is sure about is that Rhode Island is a treasure trove of delicious calamari and he needs to share that fact with everyone.

โ€œWe have a very good product. Itโ€™s always fresh, and itโ€™s pretty much the best sauce we serve,โ€ he said. โ€œItโ€™s a great flavor. … Where else would you go but the beach in Rhode Island for a restaurant serving calamari?โ€

I hate to admit that calamari has never done good things to my taste buds, but I can appreciate that nobody has ever loved anything as much as Calamari Man loves calamari. And I’m sure that in 2020, Calamari Man will run for POTUS under The Calamari Party in his bid for calamari to take over the country. Because Rhode Island is too small to contain the calamari-powered power of Calamari Man!

Pic: Twitter

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