Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 17, 2020 / Posted by:

Toothpaste Toppers!

In the golden era of civilization that is the 80s, every little moment was filled with some fun time fuckery, even brushing our teeth. In the 80s, the toy company Colorforms decided that what would make children get really excited about brushing their teeth would be the rubber head of their favorite cartoon character oozing out toothpaste. Yes, it looked like the top of their heads had cracked open and was squirting out streams of their liquefied brains but that equaled FUN FUN FUN in the 80s.

There were Toothpaste Toppers of Rainbow Brite, He-Man, Skeletor, and Rainbow Brite’s sidekick Twink. As Jerry Springer’s Wednesday matinee understudy tells us in this commercial, Colorforms’ Toothpaste Toppers fit onto any tube of toothpaste and sealed itself so that its head spigot wouldn’t be covered in crusty mint crap. He also tells us how kids are so excited to brush their teefs thanks to Toothpaste Toppers, and I believe him, because that little blondie girl doesn’t at all look traumatized by brushing her teeth with Twink’s brain paste:

Never mind that He-Man looks like a constipated Ron Perlman in a funhouse mirror, those things are creepy. And yes, I typed that right before Googling, “Do they make peen-shaped Toothpaste Toppers?

Pics: Etsy, Pinterest

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