After doing IVF and experiencing the pregnancy from hell with 1-year-old son Gene
Attell Fischer, Amy Schumer says she doesn’t think she will ever carry a child again. “Eh, probably for the best”, replied all the moms with perineal tears, stretch marks, C-section scars, and an extra fifty pounds on their asses. Seriously, pregnancy seems like it sucks. When I decide to have a baby, I’ll just call the stork. Or steal one from that baby petting zoo near my house (I believe it’s called a “daaay-care”?).
Amy tried IVF this past winter, but it didn’t take. Now, all I know about the procedure is that it’s very, very expensive and the odds aren’t great (thanks, that season of Friends where Phoebe carries her brother’s triplets!). On an upcoming episode of Willie Geist’s podcast, Amy told him that she doesn’t think she can do it again.
“We did IVF and IVF was really tough on me,” she says. “I don’t think I could ever do IVF again.”
And with IVF out of the picture, Schumer has reconciled with the idea of not being able to carry any future children. “I decided that I can’t be pregnant ever again,” she said.
Amy says she and chef husband Chris Fischer “have thought about a surrogate”, but that they’re holding off on Baby Number 2 “for now”.
Here’s a February post from Amy’s Instagram detailing her IVF experience:
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Hey! So ivf went like this for us. They retrieved 35 eggs from me. Not bad for the old gal right? Then 26 fertilized! Whoah right? For all of those we got 1 normal embryo from that and 2 low level mosaic (mosaic means there are some abnormal cells but can still lead to a healthy baby) So we feel lucky we got 1! But what a drop off right? Anyway I have so appreciated everyone sharing their Ivf stories with me. They made me feel empowered and supported. So I wanted to tell you how mine went down. So many women go through many rounds of ivf which is painful and mentally grueling. I heard from hundreds of women about my their miscarriages and struggles and also many hopeful stories about how after rounds and rounds of ivf it worked!! It has been really encouraging. Thank you. Anyway I am so grateful for our son and that we have the resources to get help in this way. I just wanted to share and send love and strength to all of the warrior women who go through this process. 🎸💪🏾 my number is in my bio if you are open to text me your experience or whatever you feel like. I read them when I can’t sleep or have time 👻
I watched Amy’s HBO Max special “Expecting Amy”, and if I were her I’d be pretty scared about a second pregnancy. Amy was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum, an intense form of morning sickness. She basically puked her guts out the entire nine months.
Last month Amy said on Today that there was a 90% chance she’d have a hyperemesis pregnancy again.
“I mean, it’s something that I can’t imagine putting myself through again, but it’s also something I can’t imagine not putting myself through,” Schumer revealed. “It’s so confusing.”
She also explained that, in addition to the physical and emotional stress of IVF and her complicated first pregnancy, the coronavirus pandemic also contributed to her family’s decision to press pause on trying for another child. The world! It’s burning!
Now that Amy’s putting everything on hold, I have some time to get my body in shape to become her surrogate. I can’t imagine she’ll go with someone in my current state – a chubby 31-year-old on an all-Cool Ranch Doritos diet who goes for walks (actually, they’re more like “staggers”) less than twice a week. But I’d do just about anything for that sweet, sweet celebrity surrogate money! Ya hear that, Kim Kardashian?