Open Post: Hosted By The UK’s Top (Retired) Diplomatic Pussy

August 8, 2020 / Posted by:

pparently, the UK Foreign Office has a cat on staff –– or, I should say, “had” a cat on staff. Because the cat in question, a black and white tabby named Palmerston, has decided to say peace out from wading through all the bullshit of bureaucracy (not to mention that morning commute) by retiring after four long years on the job. Happy International Cat Day, indeed!

HuffPo reports that Palmerston, who arrived in 2016 as a rescue cat, has served as a permanent fixture at the Prime Minister’s residence, 10 Downing Street (a basic, British version of the White House), and as the official “chief mouser” at the Foreign & Commonwealth Office building –– where basically all he does is lay around in the sun, scratch himself and chase mice. Dream job, tbh.

Palmerston, who even has his own Twitter account, made the announcement yesterday and, of course, made it official by signing off with two paw prints.

“I have found life away from the front line relaxed, quieter, and easier…”

The letter from Palmerston, or @DiploMog’ as he is known on Twitter, said his service showed that “even those with four legs and fur have an important part to play in the U.K.’s global effort.”

“I have been delighted to meet representatives from all over the world, and I hope I have done you proud in putting the U.K.’s best foot or paw forward in such interaction,’’ the letter said.

And yes, Palmerston’s Twitter handle is @DiploMog (that other Diplo wishes he had this much chill). Read the full IMPORTANT NEWS statement below:

 

That cat in the photo looks like he could not give any less of a fuck about British parliament, policy or politics in general. He looks like the type of cat that would take a vengeful shit in your coffee mug if you left it too close to his water dish.

According to his colleagues (who, remember, are grown men and woman with important, tax-payer-funded jobs) said that Palmerston would be greatly missed. Jon Benjamin, director of the department’s Diplomatic Academy, even wished him a “very happy retirement.″

“He left us a slightly chewed dead mouse next to my desk in @UKDipAcademy once,″ he tweeted, adding “we were of course not very grateful.”

Take it easy, Palmerston. For doing four years of the absolute bare minimum (although probably more than most politicians), you’ve earned this!

Pic: Twitter

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