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The Boar-Chasing Nudist of Berlin!
Those pairs of German nalgas landed in my inbox several, several times, because this story has it all. It has a bold mama boar, piglet conspirators, CRIME, a dramatic chase, hijinks, and bouncing German huevos. It’s like something out of a cutesy true crime series on Disney+ After Dark.
As BBC News points out, Adele Landauer, an actress and life coach, was lounging at Teufelssee, a popular bathing spot in Berlin where it’s perfectly legal to strip off those chonies and sun your bare crotch brätwurst out in the open. Adele wrote on her Instagram page that while everyone was lounging around, a thieving mama boar and her accomplice babies stepped onto the scene to look for some food. They snatched some pizza from the backpack of a man who was busy swimming. And they wanted to wash that pizza down with more deliciousness so they went sniffing around for more goodies and found a yellow bag, which they snatched up. But the owner of the yellow bag, our naked ass hero, wasn’t going to let the crooks get away since his laptop was in that bag.
As his German berries swayed to and fro, the naked hero ran after the mama boar who was not about to give up the bag. But eventually, she got blocked by a cardboard box and dropped the bag when the naked hero began to bang on the ground. Adele wrote that everyone cheered him on and since she’s a life coach, she turned this moment of beautiful ridiculousness into a life lesson:
Everyone of us adored him how focused he stayed and when he came back with his yellow bag in the hand we all clapped and congratulated him for his success.
This happens when you’re focused on your goals.
Adele showed our naked hero the pics she took, which he loved, and he gave her permission to share them with the world. This is suddenly my favorite new episode of Monty Python that never was a Monty Python episode:
Our naked hero has balls of steel for chasing after wild boars while barefoot and dick-out naked. And I mean that literally. His down-low parts are probably made of his steel because he didn’t seem afraid of the possibility of that boar mistaking his dick sausage for an actually sausage and biting it off. A brave hero in every way!
Pics: Facebook