Earlier this week, Alyssa Milano announced that she and Tony Danza were set to star in a Who’s The Boss? reboot, SANS MONA. And Michael K wept. Then yesterday, Alyssa shared even more horrible news. She recently tested positive for coronavirus antibodies, after getting really sick right at the beginning of the outbreak in March. So no Mona, and now corona? Not Alyssa’s week.
Alyssa shared her story on Instagram alongside a picture of her wearing a really scary-looking mask attached to a breathing machine:
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This was me on April 2nd after being sick for 2 weeks. I had never been this kind of sick. Everything hurt. Loss of smell. It felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t keep food in me. I lost 9 pounds in 2 weeks. I was confused. Low grade fever. And the headaches were horrible. I basically had every Covid symptom. At the very end of march I took two covid19 tests and both were negative. I also took a covid antibody test (the finger prick test) after I was feeling a bit better. NEGATIVE. After living the last 4 months with lingering symptoms like, vertigo, stomach abnormalities, irregular periods, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, zero short term memory, and general malaise, I went and got an antibody test from a blood draw (not the finger prick) from a lab. I am POSITIVE for covid antibodies. I had Covid19. I just want you to be aware that our testing system is flawed and we don’t know the real numbers. I also want you to know, this illness is not a hoax. I thought I was dying. It felt like I was dying. I will be donating my plasma with hopes that I might save a life. Please take care of yourselves. Please wash your hands and wear a mask and social distance. I don’t want anyone to feel the way I felt. Be well. I love you all (well, maybe not the trolls. Just the kind people.)❤️
If your eyes can’t handle text without paragraphs, here’s the gist. A few months ago, Alyssa had all the COVID symptoms and felt like she was dying. She was in a lot of pain, couldn’t breathe, had a fever, and suffered terrible headaches. Alyssa got tested, but her results came out negative twice. She also received a negative result from a finger prick antibody test.
But even after the worst was over, Alyssa is still suffering from lingering symptoms like “vertigo, stomach abnormalities, irregular periods, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, zero short term memory, and general malaise”! So she decided to take another antibody test, this time at a lab where her blood was drawn. And, lo and behold, she tested positive! Which means she likely had corona.
Pardon my dumb, but I was super confused about the difference between a positive diagnosis for coronavirus antibodies, and a positive diagnosis for actual coronavirus. Alyssa believes that since she tested positive for antibodies, that means she had COVID-19, but the CDC says this:
A positive test result shows you may have antibodies from an infection with the virus that causes COVID-19. However, there is a chance a positive result means that you have antibodies from an infection with a virus from the same family of viruses (called coronaviruses), such as the one that causes the common cold.
Anyway, Alyssa says she’s donating her plasma in case it can help save a life. She says coronavirus testing is clearly flawed, the illness is not a joke, and to please take this shit seriously and wear a mask.
Aye, aye, Alyssa! From now on, I’m taking all my advice from you! This means, starting today, I’m going on a #SexStrike as a form of political protest. What am I protesting against, you ask? Great question, great question. Ummm, please ask my leader, Alyssa.