The band formally known as but is basically still named Lady Antebellum shot themselves in the foot when they decided to officially change their name to Lady A before checking in with Anita White who has used Lady A as her stage name since Hillary Scott, Charles Kelley, and David Haywood were in denim diapers. It’s been one month since Lady A is For Antebellum filed their lawsuit against Anita for the rights to use her name, and according to Billboard, “the two parties are no closer to a solution.” That’s because Anita refuses to back down and she continues to speak out about Lady A is For Antebellum’s shameful pandering and subsequent double cross.
In this era of unchecked corporate, PR, and political bullshit, it’s so refreshing to have someone unafraid to speak it plainly, directly into the anus of the bull. Hey there’s an idea, they could go by Lady Anus and leave Anita out of this mess! Anita explained to Billboard why she never contested Lady Anus’ trademark of the name Lady A. Billboard notes “the band formally applied to register Lady A with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office in May 2010, which was granted, without dissent, a year later,” (with a June 2020 “addendum to cover additional trademark usage for an online store). Anita says:
“Why would I? That’s their nickname! Not the name they put out CDs as! Why would I be concerned about them… Shame on me for not filing a trademark. I don’t have big business behind me. I don’t have big money behind me. I started out like any other artists starts out: I started singing in three-four bands, I was doing karaoke, when I started Lady A and the Baby Blues Funk Band we were just a party band doing our thing.
I was grabbing gigs here and there, working a day job, I was doing what people do, I was hustling and doing what I needed to do to be an artist. So no, I don’t have lawyers telling me, ‘you need to trademark that.’ I never once thought about it.
Lady A and the Baby Blues Funk Band— also better dressed then I have ever seen Lady Anus at any red carpet event.
Lady Anus could never! The girl one always dresses like she just woke up from a nap in a Lane Bryant dressing room, the tall always looks like a Trader Joe’s stock boy checking on his motorcycle while he’s on break, and the other one usually looks like a little boy who’s run away from the kitchen while his mom was in the middle of giving him a bowl cut.
Anita also stated plainly what we were all thinking about just how hollow, lazy and hypocritical it was for Lady Anus to simply lob off the end of their name instead of coming up with something original, if allyship was really their goal.
A four-year-old can know that. Because I work in race and social justice in my day job, if that’s true, then be true to the statement that you made publicly. I didn’t care before that, I knew that they were there, Lady Antebellum, I didn’t question their name. I know some people from the South did, but I’m up here in the Pacific Northwest. And I asked my friends in the South, ‘what is that?’ and I looked it up… to make that decision and to say you’re shortening to Lady A, before you even get to me, to shorten it to Lady A is an insult to our intelligence, so stop that. Don’t do that. That’s not allyship, that’s you pulling a PR stunt or being lazy about being woke.”
Honestly, I don’t see how Lady Anus comes out of this intact. They fucked with the wrong one, and now, one way or another, they are going to pay.
“I was already internationally known, so I want people to stop getting confused. I traveled nationally and internationally, before Lady Antebellum. Is it a blessing that I got free press? That is the will of God and I thank God for it every day. I’m in this position for a reason, this is not by chance or circumstance. Anybody else would just change their name. They made those statement [and] I guess I am the person who is going to hold them accountable. If this were anybody else they would have run roughshod over them.”
The only good news for the band is that Lady Anus is definitely available. I checked. It was easy. I just Googled it. The primary result is a CityPages inquiry asking “Why won’t my butthole gape like the ladies in the pornos?” Wouldn’t that look great on a t-shirt? I suggest they grab that trademark before it’s too late.