Earlier this week, Demi Lovato got engaged to actor/singer/pretty boy LA-type Max Ehrich after just five months of dating (but keep in mind it was quarantine months, which, when converted into regular time, is roughly two years). Max presented Demi with a ginormous diamond engagement ring that gives those peasants JLo and A-Rod a run for their money.
Now TMZ is reporting that the ring is worth anywhere from $2.5 to $5 million, all because it’s a “special cut” from super fancy celebrity jeweler Peter Marco. Ooo, ahhhh, a Marco original! TMZ’s sources say the rock weighs somewhere between 10-20 carats, and is “an emerald cut that was handset in platinum, and flanked on all sides by smaller (only relatively) trapezoid-shaped diamonds designs.” What’s a trapezoid again? Is it like a rhombus? Fuck my inferior sixth-grade geometry education.
Sources say Max wanted the ring’s design to be “unique”, and worked closely with Peter Marco to pair the big elongated stone with the perfect side stones, until it was “just right”. Well, the finished product certainly puts the “extra” in extravagant. Take a closer look at Demi’s glittery heifer, and reflect on just how poor you are:
Demi Lovato's engagement ring is Huge pic.twitter.com/V6d54ZNeB4
— Michelle (@O_Conartist) July 23, 2020
What’s the old rule? You’re supposed to spend 3 months salary on an engagement ring? Hmmm, I don’t believe a moderately successful ex-soap opera actor is pulling in $10 million a year, so methinks either Max took out several loans, or Demi bought the ring herself. And you know what? Why shouldn’t she? If Demi has the money and wants an engagement ring the size of a boulder, she should get it! To quote Destiny’s Child’s feminist anthem from almost twenty years ago (!): “The rock I’m rockin’, I bought it! Cuz I depend on me if I want it”
Great. Now that shit will be stuck in my head for the rest of 2020. “Lucy Liu, with my girl, Drew, Cameron D, and Destiny, Char-lie’s Aaan-gels, come on!”