Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 28, 2020 / Posted by:

The Blue Lobster that was saved from ending up on a plate at Red Lobster!

The University of Maine Lobster Institute (and yes, I just pictured a bunch of bookish lobsters in glasses taking notes with their claws while sitting in a classroom) says that the elusive blue lobster is rarer than a post from me featuring zero grammatical errors. Apparently, blue lobsters are one in two million and the chance of catching a blue lobster is one in 200 million. But CNN says that the gourmet emporium of prime seafood freshness was blessed with a blue lobster and since Red Lobster’s name isn’t Blue Lobster (which sounds like every emo kid’s favorite seafood restaurant), they didn’t serve up ole’ blue-ey and sent her off to live at the zoo.

An employee at a Red Lobster in Cuyahoga Falls, OH was unloading a delivery of lobsters when they came across the extremely rare Smurf lobster. They didn’t look at that “regular lobster auditioning for The Blue Man Group” trick, and stamp EXPIRED on her before sending her back to where she came from. They named the special lobster Clawde after Red Lobster’s mascot and then called up the Monterey Bay Aquarium who put them in touch with the Akron Zoo.

The Akron Zoo picked up the blue lobster and gave her a home in their Komodo Kingdom. Everyone originally thought Clawde was a man lobster but the zoo discovered that Clawde is a lady lobster and renamed her Clawdia. Clawdia was living in a place in the zoo called “Clawde’s Man Cave” but after finding out that she’s got a lobster vagina (yes, I have my Ph.D. in lobster anatomy), they renamed it “Clawdia’s She-Shed.” The zoo wrote this on Facebook:

Update on our famous blue lobster: it’s a girl! Clawde is now Clawdia, and the proclaimed “man cave” is now a “she-shed!” Clawdia underwent a vet exam on Sunday, where our team was able to determine that she was indeed female. She does have a few bumps and bruises from her journey. The next few months are critical for Clawdia as she prepares for her annual molt, a time that is very vulnerable for lobsters of any color.

Blue lobsters get their blue color from a genetic anomaly. But why do I have a feeling that when the red lobsters of the world find out that a blue lobster was saved from being eaten by Karen and Ken at a Red Lobster in Ohio, they’re all going to blue themselves? So if you see a bunch of lobsters making their way into a Michael’s, don’t worry. They’re just there to get some RIT in shade Life Saver Blue.

Pic: Akron Zoo

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