Open Post: Hosted By A Raccoon Taking A Leisurely Dip In A Swimming Pool

July 26, 2020 / Posted by:

I don’t know why I assumed that raccoons can’t / don’t swim, so imagine my surprise when I came across this clip of a giant backyard bandit FULLY taking a dip in a Toronto backyard pool. For those who don’t know, it’s been like 100 degrees in Toronto every day this week, so you better believe that even the raccoons are looking for ways to cool off. And since people have mostly been staying inside for the past few months, wildlife has grown accustomed to taking back the streets. And so this chonky babe was probably like “ya, this pool is mine now. You can film me, but then you need to leave.”

According to BlogTO, what starts as an epic stare-down between the critter and homeowner James Novak eventually turns into a full-blown MGM-Esther Williams-style splash party. At first, this raccoon is like, “it’s cool if I do this, right?” and before waiting for an answer, waddles his adorable fat ass into the water and treads a few laps before jumping out and heading on its way. The clip has already gone viral and the phantom swimmer is now a legend up here in Canada (we don’t get much).

I love this video for so many different reasons. First, James and his wife, Catherine, are not screeching in horror at the sight of this sunny, summertime tableau. They let the raccoon cool down before doing the sensible thing and calling Animal Control––who, apparently, had never heard of a raccoon swimming in someone’s pool.

But mostly I love it because this raccoon is FULLY my lazy, unbothered ass this weekend, just paddling along in the water, keeping a good amount of distance between me and nosy bitches with their video cameras. “Like ya, I’ve been pawing through trash all my life, now I’m going to take a swim because I’ve fucking earned it. Move on!”

That pose! The world doesn’t need more influencers but that raccoon needs to be an influencer. I can see the caption now: “Just took a refreshing dip, sweetie. It’s called self-care LOL!” Honestly, I’d buy whatever slimming tea that raccoon’s selling.

Pic: Twitter

 

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