One month after coronavirus messed with Tom Hanks, America’s swee- Wait, let me check to see if Tom Hanks has done anything fucked-up in the past 24 hours. Okay, we’re good. One month after coronavirus messed with Tom Hanks, America’s sweetheart, it decided to mess with Mel Gibson, America’s sourfart. Mel Gibson, known for terrorizing many, was terrorized by coronavirus and had to spend a week in the hospital. But don’t worry, 64-year-old Mad Mel is okay now and will soon be back to his old tricks of hating Jewish people and making babies.
According to The Daily Telegraph (via The Guardian), Mel caught COVID-19 in April and it got so bad that he had to be hospitalized. Mel’s rep gave a statement that included what drug doctors used to banish coronavirus from Mel’s body.
“He tested positive in April and spent a week in the hospital. He was treated with the drug Remdesivir, while in the hospital, and has tested negative numerous times since then as well as positive for the antibodies.”
This news hits our eyes a month after Winona Ryder once again told the tale of how in 1996, Mel asked her if she’s an “oven dodger” and said to her gay friend, the late makeup artiste Kevyn Aucoin, “Oh wait, am I gonna get AIDS?” Mel immediately denied Winona’s story, saying that she continues to tell that pile of lies over and over again. I was with Mel. We’ve never ever heard him say anything racist with our own ears and we’ve never ever heard about him saying anything anti-semitic. Mel is such a lover of Jewish people that his face should be on dreidels!
And while Mel is probably happy to be out of the hospital, I’m sure the hospital staff misses his lovely personality and wistfully remember the charming things he said on his hospital bed like, “My lungs are getting raped by a pack of corona genomes!”