2020 just keeps getting shittier for Ellen DeGeneres (and literally every other citizen of Planet Earth). TMZ says Ellen and her wife Portia de Rossi’s fancy Montecito estate was burglarized on July 4 (rude, that’s America’s birthday!). Cops say their mansion was “targeted due to the victim’s celebrity status”, and don’t know if it’s connected to a bunch of other recent break-ins. The thieves took a bunch of expensive jewelry and watches. So far no word on the value of the items stolen.
We don’t know if Ellen and Portia were home at the time, but the police are telling other people in the neighborhood to avoid posting about going on vacation and to leave lights and TVs on while they’re out. Like that’ll stop the second coming of the Bling Ring! Much like moths, Gen Z-ers are attracted to bright lights.
Ellen and Portia are the type of richies who move into a new place every few years. They’ve bought, fixed up, and sold 20 mansions since 2003, making a ton of money in the process. They moved into their current Montecito estate in early 2019. The 8,000 square-foot property was a modest $27 million. A reminder that this is the mansion that Ellen compared self-isolating to jail.
As previously stated, this year is not going great for ol’ Ellen. She’s battled reports that she’s Leona Helmsley-levels of mean, the set of her talk show is toxic and racist, and that she’s, like, totally out of touch. Now a break-in? And just to add another shit cherry on top of the shit sundae, Ellen and Portia’s dog, Wolf, passed away last week. Yeesh.
Hopefully, police can find the dastardly villains that broke into Ellen and Portia’s house. I don’t wanna say “start at Dakota Johnson’s”, but… seriously, just start at Dakota Johnson’s. Next stop? Kathy Griffin’s. Then question anyone who’s ever worked on the Ellen show. Oh, damn, they’re gonna need more officers on the case.