Well, Well, Well, Donald Trump Wishes Ghislaine Maxwell Well

July 22, 2020 / Posted by:

Yesterday, Donald Trump resumed his coronavirus briefings so that whole pandemic business is solved now, thank God. However, as wonderful as it is to be able to retire the phrase #theseuncertaintimes as we resume our normal lives, yesterday’s briefing wasn’t without controversy. According to the CNN, the President went out of his way to offer well wishes to Ghislaine Maxwell who is currently jailed without bail on child sex trafficking charges. And here we thought poor Ghislaine was shivering in a cell without a friend in the world and nothing to keep her warm except a chunky blanket she hand crocheted from institutional toilet paper. Isn’t Donny a *peach?

*orange, fuzzy, and only made palatable after Timothée Chalemet has anointed it with his magical seed.

While taking questions from reporters after his briefing, Trump was asked, in light of his past remarks condemning Bill Clinton’s behavior and how he’s talked about Prince Andrew, if he thought Ghislaine was going to “turn in powerful men” and “how he sees that working out.” The expected (and frankly only correct) answer here is Not great, Bob! However, Trump’s response was uncharacteristically circumspect.

Trump replied on Maxwell, “I don’t know. I haven’t really been following it too much. I just wish her well, frankly. I’ve met her numerous times over the years, especially since I lived in Palm Beach. I guess they lived in Palm Beach. But I wish her well. Whatever it is. I don’t know the situation with Prince Andrew. Just don’t know. Not aware of it.”

I guess? Whatever it is? Not aware? Has this guy been living under a rock/in a bunker for the past two years or something? For a guy who reportedly spends the majority of his day watching TV while sitting on a golden bidet, he sure is out of touch. We’ve all seen the many pictures of him and Melania Trump happily spending time with Ghislaine, sometimes in the company of Jeffrey Epstein. Here’s the video of Trump’s verbal Hallmark Signature “thinking of you” card.

As preposterous and blatantly self-preserving as this answer is, there are some people who felt that Trump’s kind words about Ghislaine were brave. Oh, did I say “some people?” I meant exactly one person. Everybody give it up for America’s premiere champion of the accused, Mr. Geraldo Rivera!

Ok, Geraldo, simmer down. Maybe now Donald will let you sleep in a corner of his bunker (and share his poppers) when and if Ghislaine eventually spills her guts since we know there’s nothing of use in the bunker you built when you re-purposed Al Capone’s vault.

Pic: ABC News via Twitter


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