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July 19, 2020 / Posted by:

Don’t Wake The Dragon!

Don’t Wake Daddy was a fucked-up board game from the 90s that was a semi-hit. But a few years before Don’t Wake Daddy traumatized children with his coked-up eyeballs of rage, there was a sleeping dragon who stole the eggs of the penguins in top hats. You had to get the eggs back without waking the dragon’s thieving ass. Yes, that was the whole plot of the game. It was very March Of The Penguins meets Game Of Thrones with a slathering of 80s foolery.

The entire goal of the game was for your penguin to take back the stolen penguin egg from the sleeping dragon and return the egg safely to the penguin nest. The board itself was an ice cave and you had to move around it. If you landed on an egg space, you got to take back your egg from the dragon, but if you landed on a dragon space, then Daenerys Targaryen’s criminal dragon baby let out a yawn roar, causing the board to shake. Every time the board shook, your penguin was at risk of falling and dropping its eggs.

The games we played as kids, I swear. They were torture devices on our nerves. I bet that Parker Brothers had serious shares in the company that makes Xanax. Because they were basically creating future Xanax users with these nerve-wracking games of destruction.

Pic: YouTube

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