Augie Is June’s Hot Slut Of The Month!

July 13, 2020 / Posted by:

Seen above wearing the official Dlisted HSOTM crown (please, like I’ve got the budget for something as decadent as that hat), Augie is our new reigning Hot Slut of the Month!

June’s HSOTM battle was close and it came down to Augie, the world’s oldest Golden Retriever, and Johnniqua Charles, the chanteuse who gave us the protest song of our time. But in the end, Augie won with 35% of the votes and Johnniqua was barely behind her with 34% of the votes. The Pizza Hut lamp got 17% of the votes (all from true connoisseurs of refined elegance) and Grumpy Kitzia got 14% of the votes, making her grumpier today. Or maybe she’s less grumpy today because she no longer has to be associated with this mess.

Augie, who lives with her humans in Oakland, Tennessee, was named HSOTD because she unofficially broke the record for the world’s oldest Golden Retriever by making it to her 20th birthday on April 24. This dog age calculator says that 20 is 147 in Golden Retriever years. My dog is turning 18 next month and that dog calculator says that 18 is only 88 in Chihuahua years. So my dog’s looking at Augie with his half-blind eyes like, “DAMN, you old!“, before laying his ass down for the 876th time of the day since his bad hip is messing with him again.

Augie now joins Perdita, the ballbottoms, Chi-Town BonnieLeslie Jordan, and Alejandro Muñoz, as our HSOTMs of 2020.

Thanks to all who voted!

Pic: Golden Hearts

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