Last Wednesday, I received the sobering news that the Spice Girls’ “Wannabe” had turned 24 years old. After I stopped crying (and before I ran a comb-full of Just For Men through my hair), I sat down and realized the sheer fleetingness of time. Well, if Wednesday’s breakdown wasn’t bad enough, my Jurassic-era ass got another heaping dose of reality this morning when I was confronted with the fact that Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham has a kid old enough to be married. And getting married is exactly what he’s doing. Annnd now I’m just waiting for the AARP brochures to start showing up in my mailbox.
Posh and Becks’ oldest son, 21-year-old Brooklyn Beckham, is now getting married to 25-year-old actress/heiress Nicola Peltz after 7 months of dating. And, according to The Mirror, Posh and Becks are giving Peltz and Becks II their blessing:
“David and Victoria have very much given this relationship their blessing…It’s a very exciting time for the whole family and after a few previous rocky relationships, they think Brooklyn has landed on his feet.”
For those who may not know, Brooklyn is a totally professional photographer capable of booking his own clients without the help of mummy and daddy. Nicola is the daughter of a hedge fund billionaire and has “acted” in Bates Motel and Transformers: Age of Extinction. But beyond daddy trying to buy her an acting career, Nicola is best known on the internet for being a spoiled rich girl demoness who has terrorized many nannies and housekeepers and apparently hasn’t changed. And yes, Nicola’s father is a billionaire––who hosted a fundraising event for Donald Trump back in February. Him being a billionaire might explain why the Beckhams blessed this union, because well, Posh could always use another richie to bail out her fashion company.
Brooklyn confirmed the news in a post on his Instagram:
Soulmate. SOULMATE! Imagine meeting your soulmate by 21? And it just so happens that she’s the daughter of a billionaire. And Brooklyn’s already talking about one day being the best daddy in the world. I wonder if “best daddy“, in Beckham-speak, translates to: “we’ll have a whirlwind wedding, stay together for about 10 years, make millions with our respective vanity projects, and then I’ll get bored of you and ask for a divorce before my 30th birthday.”
But congratulations to these two. There was also a rumor that Damien’s long-lost sister Nicola once pushed a nanny down the stairs. So maybe Brooklyn should try to convince Nicola to buy a one-story mansion for their first marital home.