It looks like Ryan Adams’ hair is going to have to keep waiting on the apology it’s owed (“I am very sorry for being so lazy and infrequent with my shampoo use“). But that’s because Ryan Adams decided to issue a more important apology first. Last year, several female musicians – including his ex-wife Mandy Moore – accused him of sexual misconduct and abuse. Ryan recently issued a formal apology to all the women who accused him, adding that this time he’s really, actually sorry.
The accusations against Ryan were published in February 2019 by The New York Times. Several women accused Ryan of demanding sex while posing as a mentor to them, then turning verbally and emotionally abusive if they turned him down. Mandy Moore, who was married to Ryan for six years, accused Ryan of actively working to damage her music career. A few days after The Times published their exposé, it was reported that Universal pulled the release of Ryan’s album and the FBI was investigating some online messages and texts that Ryan sent to a 14-year-old fan. At the time, Ryan claimed he didn’t know she was underage, and that he was bummed out that some people “believed” he caused them pain.
Apparently being quarantined inside for four months with himself has made Ryan realize, “Oh shit…do I suck?” Because he released a long essay to The Daily Mail, which was verified by People magazine, in which he explains this recent period of isolation has made him reflect on his choices. Ryan says he can’t explain how sorry he is for the ways he’s “mistreated” people, and that he knows there’s a whole lot of people who won’t be buying what he’s attempting to sell here.
“There are no words to express how bad I feel about the ways I’ve mistreated people throughout my life and career. All I can say is that I’m sorry. It’s that simple. This period of isolation and reflection made me realize that I needed to make significant changes in my life. I’ve gotten past the point where I would be apologizing just for the sake of being let off the hook and I know full well that any apology from me probably won’t be accepted by those I’ve hurt. I get that and I also understand that there’s no going back. To a lot of people this will just seem like the same empty bullshit apology that I’ve always used when I was called out, and all I can say is, this time it is different.”
He also says that he’s got a whole lot of personal work to do to get to the bottom of why he hurt people. Also, a big part of his Be A Better Ryan Plan includes addressing his sobriety and mental health issues.
Having truly realized the harm that I’ve caused, it wrecked me, and I’m still reeling from the ripples of devastating effects that my actions triggered. There is no way to convince people that this time is truly different, but this is the albatross that I deserve to carry with me as a result of my actions. Realizing the consequences of my actions, I took a hard look inwards and sought to find the truth behind them. What pain was I carrying myself that was so poorly and wrongly being projected onto others? I made a promise to myself that no matter what it took, I would get to the root of these issues and finally start to fix myself so I could be a better friend, a better partner, and a better man overall.
That being said, no amount of growth will ever take away the suffering I had caused. I will never be off the hook and I am fully accountable for my harmful behavior, and will be for my actions moving forward. In my effort to be a better man, I have fought to get sober, but this time I’m doing it with professional help. Sobriety is a priority in my life, and so is my mental health. These, as I’m learning, go hand in hand. But I will not bore anyone with stories of my demons or use them to excuse what I’ve done. I really want to express that I’ve internalized the importance of self-care and self-work. I’m really trying.”
Ryan then let us know his therapy involves writing music. What do you know? Ryan has worked through his feelings through music, and he’s created tons of new music. Hi, Universal? Are you interested?
Music is how I lay my soul bare, and in working through this, I have written enough music to fill half a dozen albums. Some of these songs are angry, many are sad but most of them are about the lessons I’ve learned over the last few years. Those ones an expression of my deepest remorse. I hope that the people I’ve hurt will heal. And I hope that they will find a way to forgive me.”
But how well did Ryan’s apology go over with his accusers? Hoda Kotb spoke to Mandy Moore on the TODAY show this morning. Mandy, who has said in the past that she’s done talking about Ryan, once again said she’s done talking about Ryan. But she added that she thinks it’s funny Ryan would issue a public apology, because he has yet to issue private apologies.
Mandy Moore talks about her ex-husband Ryan Adams’ public apology over the weekend regarding allegations of abuse. pic.twitter.com/MQ8j2nvY2L
— TODAY (@TODAYshow) July 6, 2020
Mandy wasn’t quite done talking about Ryan, because she called out Variety for reporting on her response to Ryan’s “performative” apology, instead of focusing on the real news.
— Mandy Moore (@TheMandyMoore) July 6, 2020
And with that, I’m sure Mandy put down her phone and took a break from talking about Ryan. Meanwhile, I’m sure Ryan is frantically trying to get ahold of Mandy to apologize privately, while also begging for permission to record said private apology. Hey, that recording would make a great intro to his first album of sorry songs.