Vanilla Ice’s Fourth Of July Concert Will Go On, Despite The Health Department’s Warning (UPDATE: No, It Won’t)
UPDATE: Vanilla Ice finally got a clue and is postponing the show.
Due to the increase in COVID-19 numbers in Austin we’re gonna move the concert to a better date. We were hoping for better Coronavirus numbers by July but Unfortunately the numbers have increased quite a bit so for the safety and health of everyone we’re going to stay home. pic.twitter.com/MWWfNWf3zd
— Vanilla Ice (@vanillaice) July 2, 2020
Here’s the original post:
Two mics and a Ninja Turtle? What the fuck goes on at a Vanilla Ice concert? Well, people are dying to find out. Literally. Vanilla Ice is throwing a concert even though coronavirus numbers have been spiking across America. And now he plans on fucking up Texas even more with a concert at Lake Travis. TMZ says the concert has the County Health Department telling people not to go to it. But let’s be real, the health department telling you to stay away from a Vanilla Ice concert is something that should happen with or without coronavirus.
The Emerald Point Bar & Grill will host Vanilla Ice’s “The Independence Day Throwback Beach Party.” Emerald Point is a multi-tier outdoor venue and normally it can host 5,000 people but because of COVID-19, they only sold 2,500 tickets. I’m still amazed that over two thousand people are paying to see Vanilla Ice. And in Ice’s defense, he warns ticket-buyers they’re likely going to become vectors of a plague. But since they’ve already made the decision to go to a Vanilla Ice show, they clearly don’t have good judgment.
“Important notice re COVID-19: Please note any interaction with the general public poses an elevated risk of being exposed to COVID-19 and we cannot guarantee that you will not be exposed while in attendance at the event. The event organizer is solely responsible for the health and safety of this event. We encourage you to follow the organizer’s safety policies, as well as local laws and restrictions.”
Ice played up the 90s nostalgia on social media and is excited to go back to a time when “we didn’t have coronavirus, or cellphones, or computers.”
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I can’t wait to get back to this. The 90s were the best. We didn’t have coronavirus, or cell phones, or computers. we had 5.0‘s, blockbuster, Beavis and Butthead, Wayne’s world, Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan. And Mortal Kombat is still better than fortnight but we got out of the house, We danced, we invented house parties in the 90s. The last of the great decades #IMissThenineties
Never mind that there were computers and cell phones in the 90s, I love how Vanilla Ice is acting like coronavirus isn’t going to make an appearance. I mean, I know that many disappear when a Vanilla Ice song comes on, but not coronavirus. The Travis County Health Department agrees and spokesperson, Jen Samp, told TMZ:
“This is not wise regardless of who is performing at any gathering right now. The best way to be nostalgic is by protecting your parents and grandparents and staying home.”
Bloop! She may as well have said: “Fuck your nostalgia!” She wasn’t done and pointed out that a Vanilla Ice concert will involve drinking, and drunk people touch their faces and forget to wash their hands. So just don’t go, okay?
“Don’t go to this concert. If you do go to the concert or anywhere else publicly, wear a mask and socially distance, have sanitizer in your pocket and wash your hands every time you arrive at a new place.”
I can’t imagine people risking their lives for Vanilla Ice. I mean, imagine if he performs his new material:
People’s tombstones are about to read:
“Here Lays John, Who Died Riding The Horse With Vanilla Ice.”
An honorable way to go. The last thing you’ll remember before they put you on a ventilator will be Vanilla Ice singing: “Everything is gonna be all right, Everything is gonna be all riiiiight…”