Bravery, thy name is Lori Loughlin. Everybody’s favourite delusional (Aunt) Becky continues to tuck into yet another heaping plate of spaghetti with shit sauce––this time, it’s not just the fear of catching COVID in prison that’s worrying the soon-to-be convict and her equally guilty husband, Mossimo Giannulli. Oh no, this time Lori is making yet another sacrifice by…gulp…voluntarily resigning from her exclusive Bel-Air Country Club. I know I know. Joan of Arc who? Seriously, where is she going to relax and unwind after she’s released from rich lady jail? Maybe that ungrateful YouTuber daughter of hers can get a membership and sneak Lori in wearing a trench coat and fake moustache.
Apparently, trouble has been brewing for months over at this swanky country club (honestly, don’t rich people have big enough properties? Why would you pay to swim in a public pool if you had your own?) According to TMZ, members have been divided over how to treat the notoriously shady couple ever since Lori copped a plea and agreed to serve 2 months in prison and Mossimo will serve 5 months (meanwhile, Felicity Huffman already did her 13-second stint and is back home, cleaning crumbs out of William H. Macy’s beard).
The Board of Directors of the club unanimously voted to suspend both memberships for the duration of their respective prison stays. But the suspension is supposedly lifted as soon as they get out. And that did not sit well with some of the other fancy snobs who pay to sweat and eat there. Seriously, at a time like this, these are the kind of problems to have.
But that’s not all. Apparently, past club president, Michael Gallagher is going one step further and shooting off an angry letter regarding the current board’s decision, calling Lori and husband “felons” capable of causing “irreparable repetitional harm”.
“BACC is a Club of gentlemen and gentlewomen. Gentlemen are not felons, and felons in turn are not gentlemen. You cannot be a member in good standing and guilty of a felony at the same time, it is a non sequitur….The board action, taken on behalf of the Club’s membership, now establishes our Club as a place of refuge and comfort for known felons … This matter is already well known in the golfing world, domestically and internationally, and our Club has become a laughingstock.”
Michael’s entire letter, in full, can be found here.
And because apparently the non-gentlewoman and non-gentleman Lori and Mossimo have nothing better to do than worry about what the folks at the country club think of them, they made the difficult decision to voluntarily walk away. Man, these two are just SO giving. And I can hear the other country club members saying, “Thank the lord that those uncouth criminals are gone because this place was starting to go downhill and it was almost like being at the Y!” as they say a little inside prayer that their rich white collar crimes never get found out, which will lead to them being labeled as non-gentleman and chased out of their country club. That’s worse than the death penalty!