Jeremy Piven Backs Out From Doing $15,000 Zoom Calls But You Can Spend $75,000 On Keanu Reeves Instead

June 19, 2020 / Posted by:

Jeremy Piven was trying to sell a Zoom call on Cameo for $15,000 with zero dollars going to charity (that we know of). But then Keanu Reeves came along with a similar tag-price except a big difference. A Zoom call date with THEE Keanu Reeves could be yours, as bidding has begun and the money goes to charity. That’s like the antithesis to Jeremy’s date! And Jeremy’s taken the option down, so he must have heard everyone laughing at him.

The Daily Mail says that Jeremy now only offers a regular $400 Cameo recording after he took down the expensive live video chat with him. Jeremy’s choice may have to do with the fact that people were roasting him for suggesting he could charge people such an amount of money for any kind of service. But people should temporarily put down their roasting pitchforks because Jeremy lost his beloved dog friend Bubba a few days ago:

Nothing can make me feel sympathy for a person who sort of sucks like their pet passing away. And Bubba was a good one, he supported Black Lives Matter!

RIP Bubba.

The Daily Mail adds that on Monday, the same day Bubba died, Jeremy was seen at King’s Road Cafe in Los Angeles where he “shed some tears while playing with a cream-colored French Bulldog.” 

Meanwhile, the money you were going to spend on Jeremy can go to another place: your rent Keanu Reeves. CNN says that Keanu partnered with children’s cancer charity, Camp Rainbow Gold, for an auction. All the money goes directly to CRG which “focuses on giving kids empowering experiences.”

The 15-minute Zoom call with him is valued at $10,000. The bids are open and Keanu is up to fucking $75,100! Can you imagine? Which thirsty-ass rich person has that much money to spend on Keanu Reeves? Lucky bastard! Ally Brooke, from now-defunct Fifth Harmony, is also available for a “private concert” valued at $7,500 but nobody’s bid on that yet… Well I mean, she is up against the internet’s boyfriend

Bidders are told to “get your questions ready” for the video chat, so you better decide if you want him to reveal the secrets to immortality or if you just wanna keep it casual. Bidding for Zoom Zoom Zoom-ing with Keanu ends Monday and the Zoom date is scheduled for July 6th.  Knowing how Keanu is just a go with the flow type of dude, I’m sure he’ll answer the Zoom call from the steps of a Baskin Robbins as he casually licks ice cream. Paying $75,000 to watch Keanu Reeves tongue down some Rocky Road? It’s a steal!


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