Elon Musk Denies He Had A Threesome With Amber Heard And Cara Delevingne

When we last left the chunky diarrhea puddle of a messy legal fight between Johnny Depp and his ex-wife Amber Heard, a 911 call was released of Amber’s friend telling authorities that Johnny was attacking Amber. Since then, Amber’s legal team (which included #MeToo co-founder Roberta Kaplan) have left the case, saying that they still believe her but that travel and logistics in the time of COVID-19 became tricky and expensive so it was better for Amber to be represented by a legal team based in Virginia. Johnny filed a $50 million defamation lawsuit against Amber after she accused him (but didn’t name him) of abusing her in an op-ed piece for The Washington Post. Johnny filed the lawsuit in Virginia because that’s where The Washington Post is based.

Well, now Cara Delevingne has been dragged into this wreck because it’s been claimed in a deposition that she had a threeway with Amber and Elon Musk in 2016. Why did I just picture Elon Musk getting spit-roasted with Space(se)X-brand cyborg strap-ons? But according to Elon, that cursed image is only a product of my gutter sludge brain because he never had a threesome with Amber and Cara.

Johnny’s defamation case against Amber has gotten so complicated that I’m going to need a chart explaining everything. Johnny denies physically abusing Amber and claims she’s the violent one. Among Johnny’s many claims are that Amber put a cigarette out on his face, painted fake bruises on herself, and admitted in an audio recording that she hit him. Johnny’s team has also said that they want to subpoena James Franco and have already subpoenaed Elon Musk because both hung out with Amber around the time she claims Johnny violently attacked her. And now Johnny’s team is thinking about subpoenaing Cara Delevingne

Amber says that Johnny attacked her on May 21, 2016. Amber filed for divorce two days later on May 23rd. Amber reportedly got with Elon Musk, who had apparently tried to get with her ass for years, that summer. But according to The Daily Mail, Josh Drew, who was once married to Amber’s friend Raquel “Rocky” Pennington, claimed in a deposition taken by Johnny’s lawyer, Benjamin Chew, that Rocky told him that Amber cheated on Johnny and her wandering poon made its way to Cara and Elon.

‘Did Rocky tell you Amber Heard was having an affair with Carla Delevingne while she was still married to Johnny Depp?’ attorney Benjamin Chew asks.

‘Yes,’ says Drew, who has since split from Pennington but says elsewhere in the deposition that he socialized with Heard as recently as last year and that she is paying for his attorney.

‘Did she ever tell you in words or substance while Amber was still married to Johnny Depp that the three of them, Amber Heard, Elon Musk and Carla Delevingne spent the night together?’ Chew goes on.

‘Yes,’ replies Drew. ‘To the specific date, I can’t say.’

Chew further asks: ‘So they were having a three-way affair, correct?’

‘My understanding, yes,’ Drew replies.

Here’s the video of Josh making that claim and watch it if you really want to hear Benjamin Chew’s mouth transform into a machete and butcher the shit out of Cara “DellaVigNay’s” last name.

Benjamin should’ve done his research and by that I mean he should’ve consulted with a drunken Laura Jeanne Poon on the correct pronunciation of Cara’s last name (although I don’t know if she pronounced it right either). For shame!

The Daily Mail thinks that if the Amber/Elon/Cara threesome actually happened, it probably happened in late 2016, months after Amber split with Johnny. The concierge of Johnny’s building saw the three together the day before Thanksgiving 2016. There were rumors that Amber and Cara bumped ‘ginas while she was married to Johnny but it was just that, a rumor. Amber denies ever cheating on Johnny.

And Elon denied both the threesome and dating Amber while she was with Johnny. X AE A-XII’s father and Amber were on-and-off and broke up for good in 2018. This is what Elon spit out to Page Six:

“Cara and I are friends, but we’ve never been intimate. She would confirm this. Also, I wish to confirm again that Amber and I only started going out about a month after her divorce filing. I don’t think I was ever even in the vicinity of Amber during their marriage! Regarding this lawsuit, I would recommend that everyone involved bury the hatchet and move on. Life is too short for such extended negativity. Nobody is going to say, after it’s all over, that they wished the court battle had lasted longer!”

Supposedly the reason why Johnny’s lawyers want to talk to Cara is because she may provide them with info they can use in their case against Amber.

If Cara really did have a threeway involving Elon Musk, I’m not sure if she would be any help to Johnny’s lawyers. Because she probably protected her brain by blocking out all memories of that gross time and if Johnny’s lawyers asked her what her coochie was up to in 2016, she’d say, “2016? I don’t know her.” And if she didn’t have a threeway involving Elon Musk, she should sue Johnny and Josh for saying that she’d actually fuck Elon Musk. Shit, we should all sue Johnny and Josh for putting that image in our innocent minds. I just ate Easy Mac with microwaved hot dog bits in it, so clearly my stomach doesn’t need this right now.

Pics: Wenn.com