Open Post: Hosted By An Extremely Gourmet Version Of “British Tea”

June 11, 2020 / Posted by:

An America TikToker (and Shannon Beador impersonator) has given us some tea recipes to add to our repertoire of “Maybe If There Was An Apocalypse And I Had No Other Options” recipes. And they are atrocious. This is microwave tea propaganda! TikToker, Jchelle36‘s, first tea recipe went viral because it was incomprehensible. And so when you give people one successful nightmare creation, why not come up with another? That’s how we got Kourtney and Kim Take New York. Jchelle has taught us how to make her versions of American and British tea and both countries are like, “Return to sender.”

Jchelle is an American living in the UK. But I wonder if she’s ever actually spoken to anyone around her because I think if a British person saw her do this in person she would get reported to Buckingham Palace and put in the dungeon. This “British Tea” recipe involves heating up water in the microwave, adding milk, the tea bag and then sugar:

How is the sugar going to dissolve when you cooled the water with the milk? MICROWAVED WATER? The English were rightfully outraged by this with people commenting:

“You are hereby subpoenaed to appear before this thread to answer for your crimes against tea.”

“Well you’ve offended everyone in the UK. Which is pretty hard to do in a single video so well done.”

But wait, she also slandered “American Tea” by showing this recipe for sugar with some water in it:

First of all, if you drink tea like this, check your blood sugar levels. You may be diabetic. Second of all, stop. As a gay who loves drinking tea, and sipping tea, and spilling tea, and David’s Tea, this is wrong on so many levels. She is not a Frequent Steeper and it shows. This is the kind of tea you throw in a harbor. Can’t wait for Jchelle’s cookbook: Sugar, And Things You Can Ingest It With. Honey Boo Boo is going to get herself a signed copy.

Pic: Twitter

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