Open Post: Hosted By The Phantom Pizzas Of Belgium

June 7, 2020 / Posted by:

Normally, I would never think of pizza as something to be scared of (I tend to run towards pizza, not away from it). In fact, I have had vivid, sexually charged dreams about tomato sauce and cheese on more than one occasion. But recently, one Belgian man has been praying to the pizza gods for protection against a wave of pies that continue to pop up on his doorstep, unannounced and uninvited. I know, how is pizza uninvited. Pizza is ALWAYS invited.

The Takeout is reporting that Jean Van Landeghem is beginning to unravel as a result of fielding countless pizza deliveries to his front door in Antwerp. He doesn’t order these pizzas––he doesn’t even like fresh pizza (he claims to prefer frozen pizzas…which is just…I can’t). And, he doesn’t know who is ordering them on his behalf.

What started off as one errant pizza, turned into hundreds––arriving at all hours of the day.

“It started nine years ago,” Jean told Het Laatste Nieuws. “Suddenly, a pizza delivery man handed me a whole load of pizzas…but I hadn’t ordered anything.”

“It can be on a weekday or during weekends, and at any time of day. [The orders come from] delivery services in Turnhout, but also from the surrounding area. I have even had orders delivered to me at 2:00 AM.” One of the worst days of Van Landeghem’s life occurred in January of 2019, when ten separate delivery men arrived at his home. One of the men was carrying 14 pizzas.

Meanwhile, I’m sitting here reading this and thinking to myself, “Okay, 14 pizzas? Challenge accepted!

“I cannot sleep anymore. I start shaking every time I hear a scooter on the street. I dread that someone will come to drop off hot pizzas yet another time.”

But as if that wasn’t creepy enough, Jean’s friend, who lives 20 miles away in Herenthout, is ALSO drowning in unwanted pizza boxes. The duo is pretty sure that their tormentor is someone they both know, and has been exacting diabolic revenge and lasting mental torture over some unknown misunderstanding. The two have been unable to discover any kind of pattern that might help them track down the source––even the police haven’t been able to help.

“I cannot take it anymore. When I find out whoever has been bothering me for the past nine years, it will not be their best day.”

Godspeed, Jean! And best of luck. But in the meantime, feel free to FedEx some of those haunted pies my way.


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