Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 27, 2020 / Posted by:

The fancy taste-having bear who broke into a Mercedes!

Even though a bear didn’t win 2019’s Hot Slut of the Year title, bears (actual bears) ruled the HSOTD tag in 2019. And several bears were honored for their acts of attempted carjacking (listen, carjacking is wrong, but when you’ve got paws for hands, you deserve a slow clap for opening a car door). 2020 might turn out to be a repeat of 2019 because here I am honoring another bear for trying to break into a car and this one is a fancy bitch because they broke into a Mercedes. And just like that, I’m channeling Pebbles by singing, “Don’t you wanna ride in my Mercedes, bear?”, which is what I would sing if I owned a Mercedes and was hitting on a bear at a leather club.

Mercedes Bear went viral after human Jacob Bean posted the video on TikTok of the bear breaking into a Benz in Asheville, North Carolina. The bear tried earlier before. A bunch of people watched as the bear sashayed up the car and as it got closer, people screamed and roared, because who knows if insurance covers “bear scratches” or “bear shit stains.” And who needs The Club or an alarm system when you’ve got screams. Apparently, the bear was after some Chick-fil-A that was left in the car, but I guess the taste of deep-fried gay tears was not worth getting ear fucked by screeches. So the bear stood up and did the “Calm down, dramatic hos” backward shuffle before exiting the scene.

@madlyexplore

The audacity… ever seen a bear try to steal a car? 😳 #bear #nature #tiktok #fyp #foryou #foryoupage #viral #trending #gay #ileftchickfilainthecar

♬ original sound – madlyexplore

But those screams didn’t keep the bear away and it proved that it isn’t strictly a highfalutin ho by trying to break into a truck. This is how that bear got REVENGE:

Yes, I would be pissed at that bear for forcing me to call my insurance company and stay on the line with them for at least 16 hours (the average length of a call with my car insurance company). But then again, my friends would think I finally got some when I told them, “So a bear tore my shit up last night!

Pic: TikTok

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