Alison Roman Returned To Instagram To Update Us On Her Rehabilitation
I hope Alison Roman spent some of her time off baking a batch of “The Cookies” to put in the gift basket she owes Lana Del Rey as a thank you for acting as a human shield this week. Thanks to Lana, things are almost back to normal wherein Alison Roman’s existence is but a mere fact filed in the back of my mind like a can of chickpeas in my pantry that I keep forgetting about until I go to put away the new can I just bought like shit, now I have six. Yesterday, Alison tested the waters with a post confirming her leave from the New York Times by directing her followers to her newsletter. She also let us know that even though you’ve spent the past few weeks forgetting who she was, she’s been stewing (yes I did, deal with it) over her situation “24/7.”
After facing criticism for calling Chrissy Teigen and Marie Kondo sellouts in an interview and appearing to mock Marie’s accent, Alison found herself scrambling to apologize even though her initial reaction was flippant. She was also put on leave from her job as a columnist for New York Times Cooking. In her formal apology, Alison included an email address and solicited feedback in the form of “knowledge, guidance or opinions.” Apparently, Alison’s read every single one, and is planning on replying to them all. Even the mean ones. Alison writes, in part:
HI! I want to thank everyone who’s reached out and taken the time to write to me over the last few weeks. I am still working my way through each email (of which there are…a lot!), so if I haven’t gotten back to you yet, please know I will. The kindness, empathy, tough love, vulnerability and, honesty demonstrated by everyone who wrote in sharing experiences, book recommendations, anecdotes, and thoughtful advice has been overwhelming in the best way. I’m genuinely excited to turn this moment into positive, actionable change and so insanely grateful for even having that opportunity.
Alison goes on to state that this has been “a huge shake-up,” “both personally and professionally” and that she’s still “processing.” Alison added “I’m working on it and thinking about it 24/7,” which is more than you can say about Jesus who actually spent a lot of time on the cross thinking about how good a hamburger would be right about now. Oh wait, I’m getting mixed up, Chrissy was the one on the cross, forgoing social media for 22 hours and crying over shallots. My bad. Alison, feel free to email me your feedback on that joke. The address is in the masthead above.
About her job, Alison writes “as for the other kind of work, for the foreseeable future, you can find me in that newsletter I started 3 years ago and never sent out lol.” She still wants to hear from people, but asks them to use the email address she gave out before instead of “the comments section or DMs.” Got it? She doesn’t call it The Email Address for nothing.
Luckily for Alison, this kerfuffle looks quaint in light of recent Code Word: Racially Tinged incidents, and according to The Wrap, the New York Times just reiterated that Alison’s leave is temporary, suggesting that her time in the penalty box will be short lived. Please know that by “penalty box” I mean a “preheated oven.” What kind of hack uses a sports metaphor in a story about cookbook authors? Sheesh!
“It was always the plan for Alison’s leave to be temporary. Her column will return,” a Times spokesperson told TheWrap. The spokesperson did not clarify when Roman’s column will return, however.
Cue Chrissy effusively congratulating Alison for her bravery and/or taking credit for her eventual return in 3…2…1…
What’s this? The Crickets? Chrissy, where are you? Oh right, Chrissy’s busy getting a reverse boob job. I guess we’ll have to wait until the anesthesia wears off. Or not! Never underestimate Chrissy’s devotion to Twitter or her ability to juggle multiple headlines as long as they’re about her.
Pic: NYT Cooking via IG