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The Social Distancing Beer Catapult!

There are many butt nugget-brained messes that are starting their summer as though a deadly thing called coronavirus doesn’t exist anymore and they won’t let the government take away their constitutional right to marinate in a piss-filled cesspool of stupidity, germs, and Coors Light. But there are also those who aren’t about to let coronavirus raw fuck its way into their lungs, so they have come up with ways to stay social at a distance. Like these two dads from Walla Walla, Washington who invented the ultimate social distancing dad device.

In the highly riveting 10-second long video, two dads sit in their yards where they were probably going on and on about their lawns, their lawns, their lawns, the neighbor’s lawn, and their lawns again. And they stopped talking about their lawns for a minute to pass a beer. But because of social distancing, they came up with a stage 10 nerdy dad way to pass a beer. If MacGyver was a beer-guzzling suburban dad, this is the kind of shit he’d invent:

I know, I know, the other dad should’ve caught that beer while wearing a catcher’s glove made of Lysol wipes. But this invention isn’t only perfect for social distancing, it’s perfect for us lazy bitches too. Although, I would never mess with that thing. Because as a member of The Always Picked Last On A Team During P.E. Hall of Fame, I’d have to ask that dad to catapult over an ice pack after I failed to catch the beer and it bashed me in the head. Unless, the dad screamed, sending over a “dildo,” and then suddenly my butt would become a regular Yogi Berra and catch it tight.

Pic: YouTube