Amy Schumer has a new show on the Food Network called Amy Schumer Learns To Cook. The premise is, you guessed it, Amy Schumer learns to cook, with the help of her chef husband, Chris Fischer. They film it themselves while their recently re-named baby, Gene
Attell David Fischer, naps. And while most live-in nannies would use a sleeping child as a much-deserved break, Amy’s nanny, Jane, has been put to work as their director of photography. Hey, at least she’s diversifying that resumé.
In the last episode, Amy and Chris made pasta, which Amy paired with the “cocktail” of chardonnay. Then she called up her totally relatable bestie, Jennifer Lawrence (who also recently married a Cook[e]), to talk shop (booze). Jennifer actually picked up. I know, answering a voice call in 2020?! OK, mom.
via E! News:
“Oh, gosh,” Lawrence replies when she answers the phone.
“Oh my god, I love your work,” Schumer jokes.
“Oh, I just woke up,” the actress replies.
“We’re drinking chardonnay because, as you know, I like an oaky chard,” the Trainwreck actress tells Lawrence. “What kind of wine do you like? I don’t remember because I’m a bad friend.”
“Sauvignon blanc,” the Red Sparrow actress replied. “I mean, [that’s] if I’m drinking white, which I think is mainly for sluts.”
Except for the part about white wine being mainly for sluts (sluts enjoys all alcohols), I agree with Jennifer. Red is best. White wine tastes like sour vinegar and gives me the pukes. That being said, I’ve never spent more than ten bucks on a bottle, so perhaps I’m an unreliable source. Amy went on to ask Jennifer about her quarantine drinking schedule:
“I’m trying to wait until 6 p.m., so I have, like, a preemptive beer at 5,” Lawrence explained.
Helpful tip: If you can’t wait until 5 pm like an Oscar winner, just sleep the whole day away. Sleep is kind of a makeshift time machine.
After they hung up, Amy announced that Jennifer is a pretty good chef. And Amy later shared one of Jennifer’s recipes on Instagram:
I don’t know why Amy’s bothering with a cooking show. She already perfected the genre with Sauced, the Chopped-style competition that flawlessly captures the experience of drunkenly scrounging a meal together when you get home from the bar at 4 am:
Oh, who am I kidding? My post-bar-food move was always ordering pizza on the cab ride home then passing out before it arrived. Oopsies! Fed a lot of raccoons with those abandoned porch pies.