Canada’s #1 kid preacher is sorry he passed his peen around before marriage. According to People, in the latest episode of The Biebers on Watch on Facebook, Justin Bieber expressed regrets for not having saved himself for Hailey Baldwin, noting that “sex can be kind of confusing,” but did not specify if he meant mechanically or emotionally, leaving me to assume the former, and that Selena Gomez, at some point or another, has received a hot load to the ear canal.
Unlike Jada Pinkett Smith’s Facebook show, Red Table Talk, which covers a wide range of topics and occasionally provides pithy insight, The Biebers simply don’t have the range. But they do have an internet connection, so, you know. According to People:
During the latest episode of the singer’s Facebook Watch series with wife Hailey Baldwin, The Biebers on Watch, one fan asked the couple about any regrets they have.
“[There are] probably a lot of things I would change,” Bieber, 26, said first. “I don’t regret anything because I think it makes you who you are, and you learn from things. If I could go back and not have to face some of the bad hurt that I went through I probably would’ve saved myself for marriage.”
“I know that sounds crazy,” the “Stuck with U” singer added. “Sex can be kind of confusing when you’re being sexually active with anybody.”
If sex is giving you a “bad hurt,” you probably aren’t doing it right. Just ask Selena’s ENT specialist! Hailey added that while she and Justin “had different experiences with everything,” she doesn’t feel the same way, but agrees “with the fact that being physical with someone can make things more confusing.” Dr. Ruth better watch out, The Biebers are Vaguebooking their way to a Ph.D. in Clinical Banality.
Thankfully, despite their inability to verbalize even the most basic of issues, we can still learn a lot about relationships and love through the bad example Justin sets when he’s being rude to Hailey. Here’s Justin getting pissy with Hailey for talking about HIS Lyme disease.
Apparently it was God’s will that the volume began low on this video so that I might receive an important message on humility. Because how else can you explain me turning my computer’s speakers up just to get blasted in the ear by Justin Bieber first thing on a Monday morning. Selena, I feel your pain. I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but it must have been very bad indeed. #GodsPlan.
P.S. – It has been 10 weeks since we’ve seen proof of life for Sushi and Tuna. Pray for them.