After All That Drama, Neil Gaiman And Amanda Palmer Announce They Are Not Getting A Divorce

May 15, 2020 / Posted by:

Last week, Neil Gaiman entered the first qualification round for the title of #1 Most Deadbeat Quarantine Dad after his wife Amanda Palmer accused him of abandoning her and their 4-year-old son Ash in New Zealand while he fucked off back to the UK. She may have also implied that Neil had been two-timing her, and that things were over. Neil confirmed they were going through it, but asked for privacy while they sorted this “rocky” period out. As it turns out, Neil and Amanda are singing a different tune this week. Just call them the goth version of Ashford & Simpson. Because the only thing rocky about their relationship is how solid it is.

Neil released a joint statement on behalf of himself and Amanda on his personal blog yesterday. Neil explained that he’s currently in Scotland while Amanda and Ash are still locked down in New Zealand (where Amanda was forced to quarantine during the New Zealand leg of her tour). Neil said that two weeks ago, New Zealand downgraded from a Level 4 lockdown to a Level 3 lockdown, which means he could fly out of the country, which he did. He flew to Los Angeles, then London, then drove a friend’s car to Scotland. Neil says that he wanted to give Amanda some space in the midst of some big relationship drama, which he claims was all his fault, but would not elaborate on. Cheater! No, I have no idea, and Neil isn’t going to tell us.

“Amanda and I had found ourselves in a rough place immediately before I left (my fault, I’m afraid, I’d hurt her feelings very badly, and…actually beyond that it’s none of anyone else’s business). We agreed that we needed to give each other some space, which had been in very short supply in lockdown in New Zealand. So it was a sad sort of flight, even without the world in lockdown, and a sad sort of drive.”

He adds that he chose to leave New Zealand, because he needed to be in a more convenient time zone for work. He couldn’t go to their home in Woodstock, NY, because five families were already living there. But, once the COVID-19 pandemic calms down a bit, he and Amanda will be together again, because they are not divorcing.

“Once the world opens up and travel gets easier Amanda and Ash and I are looking forward to being together again in Woodstock. (Yes, I’ve seen the newsfeed headlines saying I’ve moved to the UK, and even that we’re divorcing. No, I haven’t moved the UK, and yes, Amanda and I are still very much together, even with half a world between us.”

He finishes by asking that everyone go easy on Amanda, who – according to Neil – has received a ton of internet shit in the past week. Neil didn’t have to say that, since Amanda already let us know on Twitter:

She also released a little statement on her Patreon, blaming the internet for blowing the situation out of proportion. She also says they were forced to make a comment about the current status of their marriage because haters and trolls were taking things out of context.

“Watching this last pile-on has been devastating not just for our relationship, which had already veered into fragile territory, but for how it reflects the general health of the internet community.”


The reason any of us know they were possibly splitting up in the first place is because Amanda and Neil were the ones who dragged the internet into their messy marriage. I guess hissing accusations of possible infidelity and abandonment over a variety of social media platforms is just part of the way they make art? We should keep that in mind the next time Amanda takes to Twitter with an emoji string that includes a wilted rose, a broken heart, an eggplant, an airplane, the angry red smiley with the &$!#% over its mouth, and the words, “You tore out my hear and pissed into the wound.” We’ll all know not to expect a divorce announcement, but a new album of hers. Trust the process!


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