Hot Slut Of The Day!

And today in: A Reason To Log Off The Internet And Never Sign Back On AGAIN. I present to you, a Fleshlight of Heimlich the caterpillar from A Bug’s Life. Now we know that in this world, a human watched A Bug’s Life and said to themselves, “I really want to stick my dick in that caterpillar’s mouth.” I mean this is just weird since Manny was obviously the sexiest one in that movie!

Vice talked to Malek Lazri, the Austin-based artist whose mind is responsible for nut-busting out the thought of this fuck toy from hell. Malek didn’t create it because he really wants to get a beej from a cartoon caterpillar (I think). Malek created it after getting the idea from a meme of Heimlich as a Fleshlight. Malek made it out of silicone and painted its face on with markers. Here it is, and prepare to either throw holy water at the screen or get moist in the tip if you’re a serious cartoon caterpillar-loving freak.

And if you are a freak, it can be yours for just $2,000. Malek is selling it on both Craigslist and eBay (where it, shockingly, has zero bids so far).

You might be thinking that the Heimlich’s mouth is way too small for a dick that is bigger than an ant’s, and that’s because it’s not fuckable:

This highly cursed item is arguably somewhat falsely advertised as it’s not a properly functioning Fleshlight and is not actually fuckable since it doesn’t have an opening—although I trust the enterprising buyer who ends up with this thing in their possession to find a way.

So yeah, buying a Heimlich Fleshlight is one thing, but buying a Heimlich Fleshlight that you can’t even fuck is an entirely new level of weird.

Pic: YouTube