June is right around the corner, and ya know what that means… Pride Month! Unfortunately for the LGBTQ+ community, many Pride celebrations have been canceled because of this party pooper (possibly homophobic?) pandemic. So Entertainment Weekly thought they’d cheer us all up by releasing a sneak peek of their upcoming Pride cover!
And it is SOMETHING…
Taking Hollywood by storm! These LGBTQ storytellers and icons are creating unforgettable work in TV, movies, music, life, and so much more! Take a peek into how they landed a spot on our June cover. https://t.co/XjBzjakcbc Illustration by Jack Hughes for EW pic.twitter.com/gZJWD2BTBz
— Entertainment Weekly (@EW) May 13, 2020
Welcome to the uncanny valley, people! The full fold-out version of the cover is pictured up top.
In the top row we have Janelle Monáe being asked to dance by Freddie Mercury, Kate McKinnon with Ricky Martin, and John Waters putting his arm around a turtlenecked Dan Levy like a proud papa.
In the middle row we have a drunk Ellen DeGeneres (her eyes are drawn half-open, was the illustrator a bitter ex-production assistant?) with Rock Hudson (who looks more like Miles Teller), Laverne Cox, Lily Tomlin being puppeteered by Kristen Stewart, Lil Nas X, George Takei (holding Entertainment Weekly’s very first issue from 1990, with k.d. lang on the cover), Ryan Murphy in Liberace’s cape, and a bobble headed Cynthia Nixon dancing with Marlene Dietrich.
Bottom row: RuPaul with Elton John, who’s probably playing Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (see: Dorothy Gale’s ruby red slipper on top of the piano).
Well, there’s a lot to unpack here, and, thankfully, the people of Twitter did not hold back re: Entertainment Weekly’s CHOICES:
Choices were made – and I don't understand roughly half of them. https://t.co/kFa7XX9X0t
— Tom and Lorenzo (@tomandlorenzo) May 13, 2020
This is a nightmare.
Is that… coronavirus in the background?
— Louis Peitzman (@LouisPeitzman) May 13, 2020
SEE: Ghost of coronavirus hovering over Ricky and Kate. It could be the ghost of a sputnik lamp too. Either way, run, bitches!
Who invited Ellen and the fracker? pic.twitter.com/FoIqOA5R20
— Quentin Quarantino (@DengiNash) May 13, 2020
As someone who’s been out since I first started almost 20 years ago, it is an honor to be on this cover oh wait I’m sorry that is a dead closeted person I’m so sorry https://t.co/cuqfYD8Mxz
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) May 13, 2020
Another CHOICE was to include the first brick thrown at Stonewall:
— E. Alex Jung (@e_alexjung) May 13, 2020
Yep, she’s inanimate, pink, and fabulous. And apparently she’s more important to the gay rights movement than anyone who actually threw her, aaand BILLY PORTER. That’s right, THEE Billy Porter was not included on the cover, but Ellen and a brick were. Cue the GIF of Billy’s rhinestoned Grammy’s hat closing.
I’d also like to point out that I don’t think Rock Hudson would be chumming around with Ellen. The Reagans did him dirty in his final days, and, as we all know, Ellen is a friend to Republican presidents.
I feel kinda bad for the illustrator, Jack Hughes, who obviously didn’t pick who went on the cover, and is now faced with thousands of negative comments:
lol at all the angry people in my mentions that I included Ellen and didn't include Billy Porter. I didn't choose the list, I only drew who I was told to draw. I'm sorry.
— Jack Hughes (@jackmrhughes) May 13, 2020
“I only drew who I was told to draw” is the new “I was only following orders.”
Well, there’s no going back now. Entertainment Weekly has committed to its Billy Porter-less Pride cover featuring Miles Teller and a brick, and so should we. Welcome to the new world order!