Quel surprise, these two attention-addict-doofuses are at it again. Obviously it’s dawned on Ana de Armas and Ben Affleck that their pandemic dog-walking pap stroll schtick is getting old. Last week they tried to spice that shit up with some locked-outta-the-house feats of strength. The week before that Ben yelled at a photographer to leave them alone. So they’ve given us the physical and the emotional. Now it’s time for accessories!
Cue the matching heart necklaces! You know, the ones you and your bestie would buy at Claire’s (or Ardene, if you lived in Canada) after getting your cartilage pierced. Yep, Ben, a 47-year-old father of three, was spotted wearing the other half of Ana’s heart necklace this past Friday. 32-year-old Ana was photographed wearing hers in April. I’m just countin’ down the days until they’re photographed wearing them together! A girl can dream…
Here are the pics:
Ana de Armas & Ben Affleck have been spotted wearing matching heart necklaces. pic.twitter.com/0LxbGSwWCG
— Ana de Armas Updates (@ArmasUpdates) May 9, 2020
Wow, it’s officially true love!
Ana doesn’t realize how lucky she is. I couldn’t give away the other half of my BFF necklace. I was one of those kids who never had a best friend because I was “too weird” (AKA slingin’ comedy gold 24/7). You know the type. The kid who’d leave the birthday party at 8 pm, then later discover it was actually a slumber party, but she wasn’t invited to the sleepover part. It didn’t help that the BFF heart necklace I purchased with my allowance was super romantic (an accident, I swear). It was a half heart, and a key, and the heart part was inscribed with “He who holds the key unlocks my heart”. Oof.
But enough about me and my silly preteen traumas I’ve long since buried with alcohol… the real victim here is Ana’s bestie, the paparazzo named Rodrigo. Where’s his half-heart necklace, huh? This Ben boy is just a passing fancy! And lemme tell you, that necklace is a target on Affleck’s chest. He’d better watch it. I wouldn’t be surprised if Ben’s bloated corpse turns up on the sidewalk, a cigarette dangling from his half-masked mouth, the heart necklace missing, ripped from his neck! SUSPECT #1: RODRIGO. Or Jennifer Garner. 50/50.