Ben Affleck Scaled Ana de Armas’ Fence After Getting Locked Out During Their Daily Pap Stroll

May 8, 2020 / Posted by:

I guess Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas got tired of the same ol’ bullshit on their daily dog walk pap strolls. Sure, the outfits change, but these two are serious thespians, not fashion models. And since you can’t just recast the dogs without somebody crying “abuse!”, Ana and Ben were forced to get creative. Which is why they got locked out of Ana’s house.

A perfect opportunity to prove that Affleck can still do it all! Scale fences! Seduce the nanny! Grope 19-year-old VJs! Screw you, Pattinson!

Here are the pics:

Truly a fantastic acting challenge, and it gave us everything:

-the initial confusion: “Oh my… wait… are we? No! Ben, tell me you have the key!”
-the manly reassurances: “Babe, don’t worry. I will fix this.”
-the stunts: *Ben climbs up the fence like Tom Cruise crashing Kate Hudson’s party*
-the danger of it all: “Babe, be careful! You’re 47 and your body has been ravaged by shitty Batman movies!”
-the moment of glory: *Click* “Welcome back to Casa de Armas/Affleck, babe.”
final shot: the gate closes. The audience is left to imagine how Ana will show her gratitude – my money’s on anal (to be fair, my money’s always on anal).
-the credits roll… DIRECTED BY RODRIGO.

So much emoting, even behind those pesky face masks.

If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that 32-year-old Ana has one helluva career ahead of her. Once this relationship blows up in her face (after Ben gets caught with the dog nanny, probably), she can trade up to an artsy, acclaimed director type, become his muse, win an Oscar, and rule the world! I’m telling you, this one’s got ambition. And Rodrigo will be with her every damn step of the way.

Pic: Backgrid

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