Open Post: Hosted by Oprah Attempting To Change Her Own Duvet Cover

May 1, 2020 / Posted by:

You know this pandemic is bad when THEE Oprah Winfrey is forced to do her own chores. Yesterday everyone’s favorite self-made billionaire (hey, she’s better than Kylie) posted an Instagram video of herself struggling to properly stuff a duvet into a duvet cover. Which…yeah. That shit’s hard. It’s the most relatable she’s ever been (even though there’s a four-poster bed and what appears to be twenty-foot ceilings).

Here’s the video:

I’m a little surprised there aren’t enough staff members in the mansion to help Oprah with the duvet. In the video where Stedman Graham was finally set free from his guest-house-quarantine vacation, he was cheered on by two girls from Oprah’s Leadership Academy for Girls. I took that to mean Oprah’s house was filled with girls, boys, servants, chefs, Dr. Phil, personal trainers, and South Korean squatters. But I guess the lady whose job it is to change the linens died. Or, you know, is quarantined with her blood-family. Tomato, tomato (please say that second “tomato” snobbier than the first one).

As someone who quit every extra-curricular ever so she could watch TV after school (Maury at 3:00, Oprah at 4:00, sitcoms from 5:00-6:00, then my mother would get home and make us turn it off until Jeopardy!), certain things about Oprah really stuck with me. For example, Oprah and some dietician once said you shouldn’t eat after 7 pm. Well, thanks a lot, Opes, because now I’m filled with even more shame and guilt every time I work on my night cheese.

I also recall an episode where she had a home expert on. The expert said that it’s a good rule of thumb to change your bedsheets every two weeks. To which Oprah replied something like, “Whaaa? I like mine changed every three days!” Then, without hesitating, this heroic expert snapped back with, “Well, no offense, Oprah, but most people have to change their own sheets”. Mic drop. Oprah did that sheepish “ya got me” face, the audience went wild, and this iconic burn was seared into my mind for life. It should be noted that it was the last time this woman was ever seen alive.

Pic: Instagram

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