Britney Spears Says She Burned Down Her Home Gym
If there were ever any lingering doubts about whether Britney Spears was serious about full scale social revolution, or just thinks memes are cute or whatever, please know that Brit is willing to do whatever it takes to burn this mother to the ground. Britney #ignitedinstagram when she shared her Molotov cocktail recipe with her followers (sheer curtains, an ill-placed sex candle, and 2 tbs of Body Shop sweet almond massage oil) while explaining how she set her home gym on fire. It makes perfect sense for Britney to light the spark of revolution in the ultimate symbol of wealth, privilege and the patriarchy (because of course a man invented the casual cruelty of the infinity mirror). As Britney once famously said, “so long as the gym exists there is no freedom. When there is freedom, there will be no gym,” adding that she prefers working out outdoors anyway.
According to Billboard:
Britney Spears’ love for candles has proven to be dangerous.
The pop star took to Instagram on Wednesday (April 29) for one of her workout videos, standing in a gym she revealed had burned down about six months ago. “I had two candles, and yeah, one thing led to another and I burned it down,” she says in the clip.
“It was an accident …. but yes …. I burnt it down,” she mirrored in the caption. “I walked past the door to the gym and flames [fire emojis] BOOM !!!!!! By the Grace of God the alarm went off after that and yippy hoorah nobody got hurt. Unfortunately now I have only two pieces of equipment left lol and a one-sided mirror gym!!!!! But it could be much worse so I’m grateful. Pssss I like working out better outside anyways.”
Here’s Britney’s post. She doesn’t actually say anything about body oil or sheer curtains but if she’s not having billowy curtain Top Gun Kelly McGillis sex on the bench press, straddling her hunky boyfriend on the regular, she’s a fool. You can see that the mirror is a bit sooty but there doesn’t seem to be that much fire damage.
Here’s what it looked like before in this unintentionally hilarious work out video. Look, Brit’s an activist, not a comedian. Trust me, if you’ve ever heard Trotsky’s tight-five on beet shits, you know what I mean. Can I get an oy vey?
You heard that goofy double-time EDM beat! That’s our signal, comrades. To the barricades!
Pic: Instagram